Is it Necessary to Have a Rebound in Between Long Term Relationships?

So I'm curious to see people's opinions on this: is it necessary to have a rebound in between long term relationships?

My personal story is that my ex-GF (of six years)and I broke up just over a year ago. I've dated 4-5 girls since then, but haven't had sex or a meaningless fling (there's been some PG making out and some over-the-clothes touching that was a lot of fun, but nothing I'd consider a rebound or a meaningless fling).

I started seeing someone recently that might have the potential for something long-term, and thus this question popped in my head.

By the way, my answer would be no, that rebounds aren't necessary. But I'm a relationship kinda guy and I know not everyone will see it this way.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't really think rebounds are necessary.

    I actually think having a rebound is pretty sad. It's something I'll always try to avoid. It's not good for you or the person you're involved with.

    I'm not really into casual dating either, so I understand where you're coming from.

    You've been single for over a year, I think plenty of time has gone by to see promise in this new relationship. Good luck! :-)

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    • Yeah I was of the same thought process. I mean, it's one thing if both people know it's a casual thing, but I feel like most rebounds go into it not knowing that's what they're being used for.

      And like you said, it really seems counterproductive for the person who's doing the rebounding, especially if they're not a casual dater by nature. Oh, and thanks! I'm optimistic by nature, so here's to hoping for the best. ;-)

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    • You're welcome! Things fizzled out, but I'm still glad I asked y'all what you thought. :)

    • Ah, well I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck for the next, haha!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Of course it's not necessary. It's so degrading to be a rebound; how would you feel if a girl told you that you were just her haf-time show who she'll see just until some she actually likes comes along?

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    • Totally agree. It'd make me feel like sh*t, and I'd probably be disappointed that I didn't sniff it out from the get-go (that I was just a rebound).

  • not that I know of

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  • Your beyond rebound now...go for it!

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  • No, I don't think rebounds are necessary. I'm pretty sure they only make things worse. More often than not, the rebound develops feelings for you, and that will not end well once they find out they were only the rebound. In my opinion, they only bring more drama into your life, which is really not necessary after a rough breakup. It's OK to date people in between relationships, as long as you are actually somewhat serious, and as long as you don't use these people just to get over someone else.

    Getting a rebound on purpose is very selfish in my opinion. You are basically using another human being (who probably also has/will get feelings for you) just to get some intimacy, closeness, and possibly even sex while you're waiting for someone "better". It's extremely rude to toy with a person's feelings like that. Heartbreak is difficult, for sure, but that doesn't mean you have the right to do whatever you want just to get over it.

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    • Agreed. Misleading someone romantically is a real d*** move, and it's totally unnecessary anyways.

    • I was led on romantically by a rebounder and it hurt like hell. This girl would text me all day and every day and say she wanted to talk because she loved hearing my voice, asked for my validation on a lot of things, and said she wanted to hang out with a tall, funny, cute, sweet guy (me) before even meeting. This combined with the fact that we had a lot in common, not just a few interests, but political views, and outlooks on life, felt like a perfect match, only to find out I was rebounded.

    • I felt like such an idiot for falling for the stuff she said. I wish I had known what a rebound relationship was before getting involved because I had a pretty long dry spell and thought she was worth the wait, but if I knew what I was getting into, I would have taken a completely different approach and would have been less hurt or not hurt at all. The red flags that she was on the rebound were in my face, but I looked at them from a different perspective.

What Guys Said 4

  • No they are definitely not necessary. Even though the reboundee gets hurt more often, the rebounder can still get hurt as well.

    For instance, I was used as a rebound this summer and it was one of the most painful things I've gone through. Having no relationship experience(experienced with everything else), I thought this girl was gonna be my first girlfriend by the way she acted. We had a lot in common, she was gorgeous and showed me tons of interest. Turned out she was using me and trying to make her ex jealous. She ended up contacting him a week after she left the same one who she said was the biggest a**hole and wanted to avoid.

    This lowered my self esteem a lot for a few months and the worst part is, this girl put on her profile that she just got out of a rough relationship and wanted to take it slow so I could have known I was a rebound from the start, but I didn't know what a rebound was. One of my friends would start dating new girls a month or 2 after a relationship ended and I didn't think much of it. His relationships lasted awhile too.

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    • Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like a terrible experience. Hopefully you'll be able to take something (even if it's just a little thing!) positive from it. Good luck!

    • Yeah it was fun until it ended. It seems like it ended as easy as it started though, but it made me realize that if it seems too good to be true than it probably is.

    • I forgot to add that rebounders can get hurt because if the reboundee knows the person is newly single, this also gives them the opportunity to take advantage of the rebounder. A player might take advantage of a rebounder and as soon as the player leaves, the rebounder might complain that they can't find a decent person and then repeat the cycle of rebounding in which a person with genuine feelings that comes along gets ditched.

  • No. People use rebounds because they feel like they aren't worth much so just want to sleep with someone to boost their ego and reaffirm that they are attractive. People who are confident enough don't go for rebounds and just figure out what they want from the dating game

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    • I get what you're saying, and I agree. Some people definitely want to get that "I still gots it!" feeling, and it must suck for the other person that's unaware they're just a rebound.

  • IMO, an equally or batter then the ex would help in getting over the ex.

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  • hard to say. I feel that it's very hard to get over an ex unless you date someone else. it's just that much easier to keep your mind off your ex.

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