Most Helpful Guy
from his perspective I'd wonder if your feeligns now are only because distance makes the heart grow fonder, or we want what we don't have or any of those old sayings. It seems like you like him when he's not around but when you two are together it seems like the relationship is rather tense and conflicted.
i'd ask yourself what has really changed that you suddenly value him more than before? are you truly in love with him or missing him and wanting a sort of idealized based family?
basically I'd really reflect on whether or not it will work and so I'd take into consideration what wasn't working and whether or not things have really changed so that those things that weren't working will suddenly work now.
but from a guy perspective I'd be thinking that you only want me cause you don't have me and hate the idea of being alone or me being with someone else more than actually really wanting me now.