I feel so guilty about being sexual in any kind of way. My dad is a pastor and my mom would look at me with disgust any time I displayed any kind of sexuality. I always have felt dirty and because of this I have never even had a girlfriend. I am too afraid others will think I am a disgusting creep for coming on to women. My brother and sister avoid the topic any time I mention it to them. This has caused me to be completely introverted and to watch p*rn all the time. I am 28 and I feel like all hope is lost. Women are totally attracted to me and I am the life of the party. I just play mr. nice guy because I am afraid of what others might think. How can I bust out of this? I want to live a normal life, but I can't break free from from my family and even though I live away from them now I still cannot break free from their voices in my head. HELP! What can I do? Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like I am the worst case scenario, because I literally have dreams of going to hell, because of my desires. Sometimes I wish I could just die. This guilt has caused me to leave christianity completely.
Most Helpful Girl
I would try therapy. It would be good for you to talk to someone who is not bias, and that can give you tips on how you can overcome this obstacle.
Trust me, you are definitely not the only person that has gone through this.
Good luck <3