Ok long story short, I'm 2 months into a horrible break up with my ex girlfriend.
When we were together I was the breadwinner, of the family I paid for everything (bills, rent, provided for our son etc) and was completely taken for granted. I wasn't the most perfect boyfriend but I put everything into the relationship and got completely screwed over. I found out my ex had cheated on me so I ended the relationship.
Since the split my life is so much better I don't have money worries, I don't have an awful relationship, I don't have to worry about my partner cheating on me, but most importantly I get to see my little boy more than I did I did when I was with my ex.
Since the split I've spent time doing the usual breakup things, grieving the relationship, learning lessons, see what I did wrong, see what I want for the future etc...
I've also joined a gym, started kickboxing got back in touch with old friends and got closer to my family too. My life's better and I look better than when I was in the relationship which is where I'm getting confused.
In contrast my ex basically gets blind drunk all weekend as a result looks horrendous, now is living with her mum. She's also sleeping around with a different guy each weekend night, while having a rebound relationship with another guy at the same time. She also slept with another man the night after I ended things.
Now what she gets up to is none of my business and to be honest the more I hear about what she's up to the more glad I am I ended things. She texted me days ago saying she still loved me, even though she's gone through about 7 guys. I've not slept with anyone because I respect myself and other people too much to make them a rebound.
I know my life's better now and I've tried to handle the breakup the right way but I feel like a loser and I have no idea why. Is it normal break up sadness? Or is it because she's sleeping with people and I'm not?
Most Helpful Guy
You invested a lot emotionally into the relationship and lost. This woman not only hurt you in this relationship, but has actually effected every relationship you will ever have. It is unlikely you will ever be able to trust another woman as deeply ever again.
You are on the right track to getting your life back together. If you are not dating yet this may indicate that you are still in pain, and may now have some trust or confidence issues with women. I would say that what you are feeling is pretty normal.
You may on some level be judging your own self worth on how this lowly woman treated you. I mean if she is as bad as you claim then it makes sense to think she should have been grateful. The fact she still mistreated you has you worried on some level, maybe you deserve it. Ever wonder why so man women stay with men that mistreat them? It is because these women base their self worth on how their partner treats them, just like you are doing.
I think you need to focus on learning to love yourself all over again, and next time be careful not to judge your self worth on how a woman treats you.1