My ex and I dated for almost 5 years, were engaged, had a apartment together. I can honestly say she never cheated or did anything funny to make me think it. We end up splitting and I moved out, she started seeing another guy. 2 months go by, we started talking and she left that guy and we got back together, we were together for another 3 months and we broke it off again. 3 months later we end up talking again, we ended up having sex twice. This was in the midst of her interested in another guy, but not dating. We talked often but she eventually starts officially dating him, now this guy is cool with us talking, at least according to her. She always calls me when he's not around, even invites me over to hang out with her, I tried talking her into giving us another try but she tells me to respect the boundaries because she's with someone. I strait out threatned to leave her for good and she balled her eyes out, so I kept in contact with her. But she tells me odd things that tell me she's still stuck on me, like she tells the new guy about me all the time, about all the things we used to do, funny times ect. The other day was my birthday, so during a date with him she was out looking for a gift for me. I strait out asked her does she still love me, she denied it at first, but then said yes but she doesn't tell me things like that. She tells me yesterday that "you never know what the future may bring, if we hang out, whatever goes on in your head and whatever is in mine we can't act on it, I don't cheat, we are friends, lets keep it this way and respect it". But then she mentions odd things the next day, (even kinda sexual jokes)She knows I want more than friendship, she says she trusts me because no matter what I've been there for her through everything. She tells me that ill find someone better, but then acts odd if I mention someone that is interested in me and shuts it down. My real question is, is she denying these feelings? Does she want to just be friends? Am I being tested to see if I'm better suited than the new guy? What is it?! How do I get her back?
Most Helpful Girl
Its possible she is testing other waters. It sounds like you could have been marrying any time soon, and maybe she got cold feet and wanted to check she wasn't missing out on something. Did you ever have similar feelings to this? I think she still loves you, 5 years is a very long time to be together and then suddenly not, that's a very big shock to the system. However I really do not think she is going the right way about it. She knows that you love her and want to be with her, yet she seems to want her cake and eat it. That really is not fair on you, because you are left guessing, wondering and not being allowed to make any firm decision.
I know she has already balled her eyes out when you said you were moving on, but you need to be strong, that is a very manipulative thing to do. How can she be there giving some guy all this attention and aspects of a relationship and then just keep you in the background like that, it is wrong. Tell her straight I can not do this anymore and disappear on her for a while. You will soon know whether she loves you or not. If she comes back to you, you know she still loves you, and if she doesn't you can move on knowing that she no longer does.
Wish you well :)1