Should I tell my boyfriend that I want to break up with him?

Here's the deal, my boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with this one girl which I hate. We've had many problems regarding this same issue because she's always texting him and asking him to get together after classes to do homework (and he always does). This semester they took a class together which happens to give them hw every week. Needless to say they are always texting to check answers or getting together to do "hw". What bothers me the most is that they are always getting together late at night and even during the weekends (in the afternoon). I hate this situation and since I've been dealing with it for almost a year I am just really tired. I don't even feel about my boyfriend the way I used to feel about him before. The worse part is that every time I get like this, I can't eat because of the anxiety. I don't even know how to address this now because we've talked about it before. I was thinking that maybe I should just tell him that if things don't change that I'm going to break up with him. I don't mind him doing hw with the girl, I just hate the fact that they spend so much time together. I know one of his friends (that is also in that class) and he doesn't spend nearly as much time as my boyfriend does doing the hw. What would you recommend I do?

BTW my boyfriend is a senior in college and so am I, we have been together for 2 years and we also live together.

Another thing I forgot to mention - according to my boyfriend there's nothing wrong. He just does not see how much this is affecting me. He thinks this relationship is going great and he has even said that he sees a future with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am pretty sure it is nothing to him.

    If you break up with him he will probably not understand why or will resent you for that.

    I think you should play a bit on this one: put dates right where they are usually doing homework together...not all the time but 2 evenings per week to start and then see how it goes... On top of that, you can make yourself super pretty a night you know he'll be going to do hw, and casually let him know that you're going out with friends. Also, about him texting constantly, you can hide his cellphone at a spot he could totally leave it and get busy with him... He won't be thinking about his phone then!

    You know, he needs to study and get good grades and maybe some fresh air from your home BUT he has to take time for you two! If he is out doing hw every evening and weekend, when is he taking you out?

    So...try those things! I usually hate games but this is the best way that I see working for you.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It's normal for people to form friendships with the opposite sex. Yes, clearly there's more going on between them than just studying and getting assignments done. But that doesn't mean they are lovers, or that he has any intention of cheating. He's just compatible with her, and they do have the class together..

    It's sure more fun to have homework dates, than to work on things alone!

    He's old enough to manage things without you having to constantly worry he'll be foolish.

    If he says you have a future, he means it.

    In the future, he'll also probably have friendships with women, just as you will have friendships with men..that's part of the furture!

    • It's not the friendship that bothers me, its the texting and constant studying. I understand that he is going to have to be around other women in the future but hopefully they are not going to be as obnoxious as this girl.

      Do you think I should let him know that if things don't change I am going to have to break up with him? I don't know how guys would feel about this. I don't want him to think that I'm making a threat.

    • Unless you are convinced there's something more going on here, I honesty don't see why you should break up.

      IF you do, hey, good chance they WILL become lovers!

  • Tell him straight up that if things don't change you will break up with him, because he is causing you anxiety.

  • That's up to you.


What Girls Said 3

  • what he says and what he does are to different things,u should cut him off,all the time he is spending w this girl is b.s. and it could lead to other things if it hasn't already,the fact that it upsets you should be enough for him to stop hanging out with her,why doesn't he study w his guy friend,theres definitely something not right about that whole thing,trust your gut

  • Yea, you should my boyfriend was doing late night hw with a girl and she tried to rub on his stuff but he pushed her away. Not every guy would push a girl away from doing that. Late night studying is kinna a problem when you are in a relationship. He should respect you enough to not study late at night. If he needs to study with people he should do it in the day in like a library or something.

    • Completely agree with you. They do study in a library but the problem is that sometimes he has classes until 7PM and she is part of the military program at school so she gets out late most of the time.

    • Thank you for your honest advice!

  • No doubt in my mind that he's cheating. It's up to you whether you should break up with him or not.

    • If he was cheating I would definitely break up with him but I am certain that he is not. I have met the girl before and they are just friends. I have also read some of her texts to my boyfriend (I know I shouldn't have done that) and they are definitely not dating. She is just flirty.

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    • I went into so much detail because I don't know if there might be something going on. He may not have cheated per say but he may have feelings for her or something like that. I was just asking for advice because I haven't had any experience with this. Sorry if you misunderstood what I was saying. I definitely have not made up my mind about staying with him, I wish I had so that I could move on with my life (with or without him). But thank you for your advice.

    • there is something more going on, who has that much homework,its an excuse for them to see each other on the down low,trust your gut, don't be so nieve