I have a problem every time I am in a relationship, or at least I had it in my last 2 relationships which were the most serious ones I ever had in my life. Basically, once I fall in love with someone, I am EXTREMELY afraid of expressing when something bothers me. And I think it might be tied to the fact that my last ex broke up with me because I was expressing myself and trying to talk about our issues, and I think it scarred me. He was the first one I ever tried to be honest and open with, and he crushed me by breaking up with me because of it. Even though he came back months later begging me to take him back, showing that it was really him with issues rather than my fault for breaking up, I was already mentally scarred. I have a new boyfriend now, and he is wonderful, caring, sweet, and I feel that he loves me very much. But I am still so scared to trust him and believe he won't hurt me or won't leave me if I act the same. So every time I try to be honest with him, it goes like this: I say something bothered/hurt me, he tries to explain he did not mean to hurt me and gets upset because I am upset, I get even more sad that now he is upset too and I end up apologizing for getting mad. I don't know how to stop it, I don't know why I am so scared that if I say one thing someone doesn't like, they will leave me. Or after every conversation like this with my boyfriend, I can't sleep or eat until the next time we talk and I am reassured that everything is OK. I am so paranoid that again someone will leave me because I am emotional and express myself. Is anyone else on here like that? Or have an emotional gf? Would you leave someone for being a bit on the emotional side or bringing up issues in your relationship/behavior, if you loved everything else about them?
Most Helpful Guy
well it's clear your anxiety to express yourself stems from that ex who broke up with you for that
my girlfriend is fairly emotional and I have no problem with it. some guys are uncomfortable dealing with other people's emotions but I don't think you should hold back who you are. obviously try to manage your emotions but you need to be yourself in a relationship. if the guy can't handle it it's better to know this than be in a relationship where you hold everything in.
i like that my girlfriend talks to me about how she is feeling, I'd prefer that to being in the dark about stuff.2