How do I get him interested again?

I was seeing a guy for a little while - we got physical but it wasn't serious. I have pretty low self esteem so I created tension towards the end and even though I ended it, I'm pretty sure he was unhappy with how things were going too. Eventually I sent him a really long and strongly worded email and didn't speak to him again.

A few weeks later I saw him at a club and we seemed to be sorting things out and I ended up back at his place and it felt like things were "back on" but when I asked he said it was just a bit of fun. I got upset and he said we shouldn't sleep together again then.

Since then I've accepted it's over in terms of anything serious, but I am not in a position to be in a relationship anyway and since I still have physical needs I decided that I wanted to give a purely physical relationship with him a go but I had a hard time approaching it with him. Last night I sent him a message and casually slipped in something about us sleeping together, to which he said that I shouldn't be thinking that way as I get upset and then he feels bad. I told him things have changed and it would be fun. He then said he needed to get to bed but we could talk about it later.

Today I haven't heard from him. I was hoping I could pique his interest with the suggestion of sex but he doesn't seem that keen. Maybe I imprinted a very negative association in his mind with me but is there anything I can do to change it and get him to want me again? I've been initiating contact all the time and being relaxed and nice but it just doesn't seem to be working. Should I contact him again or leave it a few days and say I'm in town on the weekend if he wants to meet up...? I don't really know the best thing to do so any advice would help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't be hard headed, he's being pretty straight up with you and already called it off, and you're still prodding him for more.

    • It's just sex, I'm not trying to get back with him

    • Alright then, balls in his court now. If it goes 2 weeks and no contact, I'd say sayonara

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