Is my boyfriend treating me badly or am I just imagining things?

We have been together for a year. When we first got together he was like prince charming, sweet, romantic, gentle, kind and protective of me. I loved it, and couldn't believe it. I had been through a really bad time previous and was surprised that someone cared about me so much. He was very clingy, but I didn't mind too much because he said he loved me and I wasn't going to pass that up. So clingy he just wanted it be us alone and he would refuse to hang out with my friends.

4 weeks in it all started to change. I had lost some of my friends by this point, and only had him.

1) The romance stopped

2) He insults every item of clothing I have, to the point of making me cry. He said I should bin all my coats. (He just said he was joking)

3) He makes fun of everything I did before meeting him. Said my university wasn't as good as his, and my jobs were rubbish. (Said he was only joking again)

4) Insulted my brothers even though he has never met them.

5) He controls everything I do, including what I eat and where I go.

6) He has pictures of all his ex girlfriends on Facebook but refused to have any photos with me.

7) He talks to all of his ex-girlfriends and brings them up in conversations.

8) He made me meet his most recent ex-girlfriend although I said I was not comfortable with it.

9) One of his other ex-girlfriends added me on Facebook, and when I asked him about it, he just dismissed it as nothing.

10) He didn't get me anything for our first Valentine's day just sent me a text.

11) He hates me talking to other guys but its OK for him to make friends with loads of girls and go for drinks with them on their own as 'friends'.

12) He won't ever invite me to go out with his friends as if he is ashamed of me.

13) He is texting people all the time including other girl 'friends' but if I ever text anyone he always asks me who am I texting and not to lie to him.

I know I should already know the answer, but all through this he says he loves me very much, and when I almost broke up with him recently he broke down in tears begging me not to, so I didn't.

What do you think? Does he really love me or is he lying?

  • He loves me and wants to be with me like he says.
    Vote A
  • He loves me and has extreme self-esteem issues.
    Vote B
  • He doesn't love me and is just using me for the time being.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is treating you very badly. Please tell him so and cut him off, FAST. Do not call, return calls, text, return texts, or make yourself available to him at all. Teach people how to treat you, be a girl who values herself and you will find a man who will rise to your standards, and that's definitely not this guy. And, really, if he is that guy, sticking around doubting yourself and giving him the time of day isn't going to change his mind at all. Knowing that you will not give him the time of day is the only thing that might make him rethink his behavior. And if not, well, it's really not your loss.

    • Thank you sometimes you have to hear it from someone else to realize what you're in.

Valentines Day

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It could go B or C. He's bad for you either way, and you should break up with him, so I voted C.

    The fact that he's trying to keep you a secret (#6 and #12), and the fact that he's going out for drinks with other girls (#11) tells me he's probably seeing other girls on the side.

    #9 doesn't seem to be a big deal. You should message her and tell her all the things you listed here, and see if she went through the same things with him.

  • Talking the talk is one thing. Walking the walk is something different. He says he loves you, but his actions indicate anything but that. He is treating you badly.

  • Factum narro garrulus quam lacuna.

  • I'm torn between B and C. But yeah he is mistreating you.


What Girls Said 2

  • Please Google "narcissism symptoms". Then you will have your answer.

    (Ftr, I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years...it will only get worse, not better.)

    • Thank you I will google that now.

  • Generally if you think someone is treating you badly they are! Never settle!

Valentines Day