Guys: how would you treat a girl that you had feelings for but couldn't be with?

I met my "ex" a few months before he went into the military. We hit it off after a couple months of meeting. We started dating and even though he was supposed to leave, we contemplated taking a break but we still kept seeing each other. He was beyond amazing to me: very respectful, never rushed (we first kissed right before he left), was very patient with me when I told him my problems, expressed wanting to marry me, and just pretty much perfect. He would kinda stare at me with a smile, kiss my hand, and tell me to call him when I couldn't sleep. He wrote me amazing letters during basic training, and that's when I really fell for him. He was my first love. we texted and talked when he could, and we would try to spend time together when he came to visit twice. He surprised me both times. He stayed overnight at my place and never pushed past beyond what I was comfortable doing. He said that knowing how he is in relationships (getting really caught up in it) and his demanding job, it wasn't the best time to be in a relationship. I understood, and we dated for about a year. He was my first everything, which was when I brought up what we were and where we were going and decided to take a break, it was very hard for me. he was beyond patient with me during our break up and said that we would never lose our friendship and he's open to a possibility for us in the future but told me not to wait. I still wanted to talk to him and we both still keep in touch every once in a while through text to see how we're doing. I slowly started to realize that he was right in that a break in communication would be good for us and the time in between our short text conversations got longer. It's been a month since our last "check in". I still think about him everyday and I honestly want to be with him but I also want to stop obsessing and see other people and let it happen when the time is right. I keep feeling like if he didn't have (strong) feelings for me, he wouldn't have been so understanding and still check in on me. What do you think his actions mean? I never connected with someone like I did with him so I really can't let it go. I met a few other guys after him but they all lacked something something that he had.


Most Helpful Guy

  • if the guy really loves you, even if he is far away he would still keep in touch..either you wait for him or let him go the choice in the end is still gonna come from your end..if you would go for a LDR you have to make sacrifices..i think it's best for you to make your self busy..he will communicate if your really worth for it .

    • he does, but we both realized we should take a break and we do keep in touch just not as often for now. its not exactly my choice, and I can't wait for him, I don't want to and he even said not to. I've been trying to keep busy but I think a lot so it doesn't help much.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't know how he feels. But I think maybe he just feels guilty that he's keeping you waiting. He sounds very respectful so I wouldn't be surprised if he simply felt that you should just move on because he can't be with you

    • I agree and him being in the military away from you , he will meet many women so you should not wait anymore,not now

    • I think of that too but I'm not trying to wait, I mentioned I'm trying to meet guys and move on but a part of me still wants to know how he truly feels even though we're doing this because its for the best

  • Cut off all contact unless we are acquaintances .


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