My boyfriend never makes the first move, why?

In the beginning it was all him, he wanted sex all the time. Ya know, how most new relationships are. Now, 6 years later he barley wants it. Never makes the first move, and most of the time turns me down. We have a good relationship, we're happy, get a long great...it's just the sex. What can I do to get him to want it more? Should I stop trying/.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The same thing happened to my best friend

    Have you gained weight? Has your appearance changed? When my friend first started dating her boyfriend she was very fit. Now they have been together over a year and she has gained about 50-60 pounds and he stopped having sex with her like he used to. They would have sex but she described it as being bland and not as great as it used to be. She tried to spice it up but he would always turn her down. He would also make comments about her weight. She thinks he doesn't find her attractive anymore. She's in the process of losing weight now because she's back in the army and she has to get her weight under control.

    Maybe he's no longer attracted to you?

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    • I look the exact same as the day we met. I'm not the type to let myself go. I even weigh the same as I did. He still tells me how sexy I am and compliments me. Our relationship is great it's just his lack of wanting sex. I'm starting to think it's more of an health issue. I think as he's getting older his sex drive is decreasing, Low Libido I guess.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Could be a few different things, but my guesses would be:

    A: The sex has become boring and repetitive. (Spice it up, do something different)

    B: He is getting it somewhere else. (No one likes to believe it, but it happens)

    C: He is checking out of the relationship (Feels guilty having sex with you, knowing he done)

    D: Problems outside the relationship, work, money, etc (Stress can kill a sex drive)

    Don't stop trying, change it up, and if that doesn't work confront the problem.

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    • Sex to me as became boring lol So I assume he feels the same.

      I don't think he's getting it somewhere else (who knows though) but we just have such a good relationship I don't see it that way,

      Stress could be it from work, bills etc

      I am tried to spice it up, try new things and he doesn't go for it. Tried talking about it and he says "our sex life is fine" I don't want fine! lol

What Girls Said 1

  • either you aren't good or you aren't adventurous

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