What to do with my roommate issues?

I am having a huge problem with my roommate and I need peoples opinion who aren't my friend to give it to me straight. I live with two guys and one other girl, We all have our own rooms and the girls are in one hall with a bathroom we share and the boys are in the other.

Over the summer the girl roommate got engaged and decide she wanted to move out a week before classes started. The only subleasers she could find was a 26 year old from out of state we could not meet before she moved in or a guy I did not know. The two guys said no to the older women and I said no to another guy because 1) I did not know him and 2) I do not want to share a bathroom with a guy unless I was intimate with him. So she decided to illegally move her fiancee in. I asked if him if he would use the boys shower and she (even though I didn't even ask her) that I was being unreasonable and that would not happen and that he was uncomforatble sharing a bathroom with guys he doesn't know (but he doesn't know me any better) I am already uncomfortable with him in our shower but I heard them having sex in the shower we share yesterday. I want to move out, but all the furniture in the apartment is mine and if I move, I will be screwing over the two guys I live with. One of the guys I consider one of my closest friends. I know he should not be mad if I move and understand why I want to, but I am afraid he will be mad and not want to be freinds. I thought the girl I lived with would understand why I didn't want to live with a random guy or share a bathroom with her fiancee because she was my best friend but now we aren't speaking and I have tried to talk to her about this and she won't talk to me. If I report that he is living there illegally, they will know it is me and could start more problems. This is on top of the problems of her and her fiancee leaving the kitchen a mess, leaving the lights on all night, and leaving the doors unlocked when no one is home (I know it is not me or the guys)

My question is am I overreacting and should just live with this? And guys, If I was one of your closest friends, would you be mad if I moved out and took basically the whole apt. with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with the others. Talk to the other guys and discuss what you guys think is best for y'all. The girl in the house is not going to listen to reason because she's always going to side with her fiancee. And the fiancee is going to keep doing what he does because his girlfriend is okay with it.

    If you guys decide you want them out (assuming they won't voluntarily do so), you can go to management and tell them the situation. Your 'best friend' is not being a good friend if she can't respect or get her fiancee to respect everyone's wishes. You could lose her as a friend altogether but in these kinds of situations, this is how you can weed out who's a true friend, or not.

    I don't think it's fair for one girl (and her fiancee) to affect 3 people with their decisions. You shouldn't have to move out nor should the guys be without furniture or their close friend (talking about you and your close guy friend) because someone else was being inconsiderate.

    Good luck and please come back here with updates or any further advice.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Dont worry, we aren't friends anymore. She was my best friend, but not anymore. The guys are trying to stay neutral (because before she started dating this guy we were all friends) but maybe they would back me up more if I told them I was going to move and take my stuff with me. Ill talk to the guys tonite. thanks

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you and the other two guys can come together and formulate what you want to do. And stick to it.

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  • No, you are not overreacting. If dude is weird about sharing a bathroom with guys he does not know - well - after a few days he will know them, won't he? So that's no excuse. Have you explained the situation to the guy who is "one of your closest friends"?

    Three choices:

    1 - throw out the couple, deal with the incresed rent

    2 - move out

    3 - live with it.

    All three choices suck, but that doesn't change the fact that you are going to have to live with one of them, regardless of whether or not you do anything about it.

    How illegal is "illegal"? Call the sheriff illegal? Since this girl has demonstrated that she is not actually your friend at all, you should seriously consider option 1.

    And as for taking option 2 and moving all the furniture out - we are guys. Furniture is not really a thing for us. It's not going to affect the two guys all that much.

    Decide, or life will decide for you, and life is not always kind.

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    • Thanks for your comment. I have talked to the one guy but he is trying to stay neutral and I can't figure out why since he isn't all the great of friends with the girl anymore. Plus its individual leases so my rent will stay the same. I am just concerned she will ruin my things out of spite since basically everything in the apartment is mine. BUt I am glad you said that guys in general won't care about the furniture too much so thanks :)

What Girls Said 2

  • Def a tricky situation.

    If I were you, I would just talk with the other guys in the house, let them know you are really bothered by what's going on, and have them approach the couple with you.

    Have them back you up and let the girl know that she has two choices:

    1) They both move out and find an apartment for themselves

    2) He moves out

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    • Tried that, she bitched me out for bringing it up in front of everyone. The guys are trying to stay neutral but If I tell them I am leaving they may try to back me up

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    • Thank you for your help. honestly, I'm glad you agree with me. I have talked to my friends about this but was worried they just took my side because I was thier freind

    • No problem, girlie! I def know what you mean, sometimes it's better to get some extra opinions from people who aren't just going to tell you what they think you want to hear. Good luck with everything . Xoxo <3

  • just talk with the two guys that you do like and htats it

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