Cheating VS The thought of cheating, Which is worse?

Its a complicated topic because not everyone is on the same page on this topic, But most of us think they are both bad but which is worse?

In a relationship, We hope our lovers don't cheat and betray us, Yet we can't control this or sometimes truly know for sure.

Are both in the same category or one is worse than the other?
  • Both are the worse.
    Vote A
  • Two completely different things.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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1911

Most Helpful Guy

  • Actual cheating. You can choose whether or not to cheat. You might feel an attraction for someone else, but attraction is involuntary. What matters is if the will consents to that attraction for someone other than the person you're with.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I think the physical act of cheating is morally worse than just the thought of cheating, as it involves both thought AND action (even though cheaters often claim they weren't thinking at all). Having thoughts of cheating, or emotionally cheating, is bad, but not as bad as actually following through with those thoughts. So physically cheating on someone is morally worse because it's a conscious choice, whereas emotionally cheating is an unconscious choice.

    With all of that being said, I think I would rather be physically cheated on. While the physical act of cheating is a conscious choice -- a morally wrong conscious choice, it may also be a huge mistake that'll be deeply regretted the next day. Emotionally cheating, on the other hand, is proof that the relationship isn’t really working.

    At least if you get physically cheated on, you're allowed to be sad and angry. It would be uncalled for to freak out at someone for just thinking about cheating on you (it's not like people can control their thoughts), even if both situations are equally upsetting.

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  • I think the thought of cheating is worse, because it leads to cheating itself.

    Just by thinking of cheating, it means you have curiosity. You would like to know what it feels like, the adrenaline of breaking the rules, going on the edge, and many things. If you start thinking about it, you may have an intention of doing so.

    Both things -cheating and thinking of it- are equally bad, because is just not right to go 'solve things' in that way. I'm saying solve things, because I'm guessing (that's what I've noticed) most cases of infidelity/cheating/affairs are due to communication issues, lack of love or passion, boredom, no connection/chemistry at all and I don't know what else...

    What I'm trying to say is that, from my point of view, thinking about the idea of cheating is worse: because that's the 'solution' you're looking for the problem. Just by flashing in your head, is wrong.

    If one feels there's something not right about the relationship and has tried everything (except cheating), then the best thing to do is to end that bond with the other person..

    Hope you could understand and I had helped you :D ^^ x

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  • well I'm pretty sure most people would agree that an action is worse than a thought. I mean if your partner woke up one morning and told you I had sex with another guy last night or I had a dream of another guy last night..im pretty sure the dream would be forgivable to most people but the action would not.

    I do agree however that the thought of cheating can be bad. it all depends. I mean naturally if you have been together a while, fighting a lot, partner gained weight sometimes the thoughts of other people can turn you on and you fantasise about it. I am a girl and I occasionally do picture being with another man but I would never actually do it. however, with my ex, I was very unhappy and I would constantly picture being with another man, and I would, if the right man swept me off my feet and was there. so I mean it can depend. sometimes people think about cheating simply as a little thought that flys by and that really is normal and isn't anything to be concerned about, but if its more a reoccuring dominant thought then I suppose that would more suggest that the person would do it if the right situation occured and well it isn't as BAD as cheating because they haven't actually done it yet, but it does suggest that they aren't really into the relationship anymore and looking for a way out.

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  • It's two different hinges. Yes thinking about isn't right, but were only human and flawed.

    It's like thinking a font cheating in a test and actually doing it.

    Thinking about running away and actually doing it.

    Having sex and actually doing it.

    No harm no foul...

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  • I'd say actually cheating is worse.

    I try to live by the motto "You can't be judged by the thoughts you have, only the ones you act on."

    Because I have bad/inappropriate thoughts sometimes too, but I don't act on them, your thoughts aren't always something you can control.

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  • thinking of cheating means he wants to cheat on me? or he just thinks another girl is f***able?

    if it is the first it is as bad as cheating because he emotionally and physically wants someone else and is considering it. the only reason he hasn't already cheated is probably the worry of getting caught & being kicked out the house or dumped not the fact that he loves me and wants to make it work

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  • Cheating Is far worse since he couldn't control himself. Someone may have thoughts of cheating but once they see their S/O they stop themselves since love is more important. When you cheat you basically said "f*** it I need to relieve my d***"! That's a big f*** you to me!

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  • Definetly cheating!

    But I guess as soon as you get thoughts about cheating and they become consistent and about one person it will eventually happen. Plus as soon as this happens you can be sure that there is a lot wrong with your relationship and probably little to no feelings left.

    I know because a guyfriend of mine was in this situation.

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  • Cheating is worse since that involves both thinking about it and then still choosing to go ahead and do it.

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  • I think doing the actually cheating is worse than just thinking about it. As a woman, I'd be more devastated if a man I was in a relationship with jump into bed with the other woman than just lust about it in his thoughts.

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  • BOTH IS WORSE IF You THINK OF CHEATING You ARE ALREADY CHEATING SO THERFORE ITS NOT A DIFFERNCE

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    • Finding someone else sexually attractive besides your partner doesn't deserve condemnation IMO.

    • If you are not married to that person then why stay with them if your not attracted to them your hurting them and yourself

  • Thinking about cheating doesn't always lead to actual cheating. So I would say that physically cheating is worse than the thought of doing it. But it also kind of depends on the thought. If you systematically plan in your head how to cheat on your SO, you're definitely doing a bad thing. But if it's just a quick thought that passes by within seconds, no harm done.

    We don't always have control over our thoughts. But we do have control over our actions. Actually cheating is therefore a real choice, whereas just thinking about it might not be.

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  • Cheating VS The thought of cheating, Which is worse?

    B. Two completely different things...In my opinion cheating is 'worse' as it's an actual action I don't really consider any thoughts in terms of 'bad' unless it deals with harming children/animals.

    I also find for my environment most think of cheating as worse I know quite a few gals that think about cheating on their partner generally with his younger brother, nephew, son, or cousin and said partner knows usually from catching her masturbating to the guy or saying his name during foreplay/sex.

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  • Step 1: thought of cheating

    Step 2: cheating

    Thus, thought of cheating is worse.

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  • Both are equally bad regardless whether there is an action done.

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  • Actual cheating

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  • I don't see how anyone could say thinking of cheating is worse or just as bad as actually cheating...

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    • Some people do, as the answer above you did.

    • Yea I don't agree. People who think about cheating don't always cheat (to say they do is a huge generalization).

  • Doing it is obviously worse as you have considered it and acted on it. Both are betrayal though. For me it's something that makes me hurt just at the thought of the possibility.

    It's a very culturally biased thing. I also think that the modern culture of everyone's a possible sex partner undermines the commitment process later on in life. I've seen it in myself. Just joining a dating site with no intention of dating has left me less sensitive to guys feelings. I know there's hundreds more who have expressed interest where he came from. This is exactly the attitude my mother has been trying to instill in me but I'm too soft for that mentality. Everyone is important but the choice is overwhelming.

    I just hope it never happens to me. If I marry I hope he only had eyes for me. But I'm the type who is loyal and naive to a fault.

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  • Actual cheating. Everyone thinks about cheating. Nobody is wired to be monogamous.

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What Guys Said 10

  • All people think of being with other people, it is human nature. Although if you mean thinking about it like actually planning it out then I'd say it is closer (like if your SO actually talks to another person about it or something) but I think thinking about something and actually acting out what we think are two completely different things

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    • 'All people think of being with other people, it is human nature'- totally agree with that. it's taking that thought to the next level and actually cheating that is worse.

    • YES. Great answer.

  • Most people would see the physical act as the worse part. I avoid thinking the thought is harmless or just better than the actual act. Every time those thoughts try to poison my mind, I remind myself that they are the first step to actually doing it. Having thoughts on a train with many people around can still be seen as harmless, but what if you're in a seculded alley, your partner far away and there's somebody attracted to you? Where does your thought lead you now?

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  • Bro, there are MANY MANY thoughts we all have but don't act of them.

    All of us would be imprisoned if thoughts alone could convict us!

    So I voted B.

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  • Tough question, I had to say separate though... Both are obviously bad, but I can't say that thinking something is bad as doing something. I mean thinking it is essentially emotional cheating, actually cheating is physical, but I'd say it's also emotional... I know some people would say 'Oh, but it was just sex, it doesn't MEAN anything'. I think it MEANS that either you are emotionally attached to the other person who you're cheating with, or you aren't that attached to the person you're cheating on. Which I think is an emotional form of cheating, it's feelings for someone else or little to no feelings for the person you're actually with. So I have to rate it as slightly worse than the thought of cheating.

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    • I disagree with the whole sexual attachment bit, but think cheating is a breach of the monagomous contract and is as a result lying or at the very least being extremely dishonest. And that really grinds my gears XP

    • It's hard for me to see it otherwise, I mean I know often girls connect emotionally through sex and I personally do as well. I find it hard to see how you could actually have sex with someone that you feel nothing for. Even if I'm attracted to someone I generally have the feeling I like them. I don't kind of see them as attractive but that's it.

  • since when are thoughts evil?

    cheating is normal and there nver is any "wrong" to it.

    only weirdos, p****** and children believe in "right and wrong".

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  • What's worse: thinking about punching someone in the face or actually doing it? Thinking about taking a waller someone left on a counter or actually taking it? Acting on temptation is always more significant than the temptation itself. Thoughts can be undone, but actions cannot.

    Thinking about cheating means simply that you're unsatisfied with your relationship and are facing temptation from things that seem like a better alternative. Actually cheating means you've broken the relationship and made a choice.

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  • Actual cheating is much worse.. Thinking about it doesn't even mean you are planning to etc. Maybe just a fantasy about someone

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  • Cheating is worse. I mean who hasn't at one point thought of being with someone else.

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  • Never noticed you changed your icon pic. Anyhoo cheating of course if far worse. Controlling your impulses is something to be applauded for. We are human and most likely not meant to be monogamous. That being said love =work and that work can be very rewarding.

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  • Well I would say that thinking about cheating because usually when a person is already thinking about cheating they usually follow through and cheat for real.

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