How do I get over this?

My ex and I broke up in May and the whole summer we were arguing. Sometime in Sept. we tried to at least talk to see where things were gonna go. in Our relationship things have always been 70/30. I was the one always giving, kept my word, did things for him even on holidays/birthdays things were one sided and he never saw this as a problem until this year. When we tried one last time he did the same selfish things and tried to dumb it down. He shut down, felt attacked, and didn't even acknowledge why I was bothered and that's what made me call it quits. I feel like he is walking a way so happy, he's gotten everything he could have ever wanted,..someone to care and be there for him, support, gifts, everything and I'm the one left here feeling hurt. I want him to hurt and be pissed like I am. I want a fu*king sorry! I want him to admit he was wrong! How do I get over the hurt and feeling like this? I haven't been feeling like this since May but since Sept. when I finally woke up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is entirely unfair, but unfortunately, very common. Selfish people tend to get away with their selfishness, often at the expense of the selfless. He's not going to feel remorse. He might not be that capable of it. Selfish people usually aren't. Unless you become as selfish as he is and wrong him out of selfishness, you can't really hurt him the way he hurt you.

    Because he got away with hurting you, you can't let go of this. Because you can't let go of this, he continues to have power over you and continues to hurt you without even knowing it. At least I hope he doesn't know that he has the power of you! You have to give it up. You have to give up the unfairness of it and the wrongness of it and let the hurt, anger and hate go. Be thoroughly grateful that he is out of your life! This is a good thing not a bad one. It should be a source of relief to you and a motivation to find someone who will treat you right instead of the way he treated you and he will treat whatever girls flock to him.

    • Thank you so much! This cheered me up and I know I have to let all of the bad feelings go. There is this quote by Robert Braut that says "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got." I'm just not there yet though =\. Another thing that bothers me is that he feel like he can still contact me. I don't reply but I have stated to leave me alone. Why would you feel like you have the right to keep talking to someone after all you did? Any ways thanks again =)

    • I'm glad that it helped. The quote is a good one to live by. It takes time - you'll definitely get over him and be the wiser for it even as he grows more foolish over time. I'm sure he feels justified is how he mistreats others. They usually do. Thanks for the BA!

    • Thanks and you're welcome =)

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