I can't let myself go with a guy since my breakup. Any advice?

Dating doesn't feel the same. If I'm completely honest with myself, I'll admit that I'm very reluctant to trust now, I have not let myself get attached to anyone since because I'm afraid I'll get played, I am scared of commitment and I get very freaked out when a guy hits on me very sexually.

I crave a serious relationship that'll be better than my last but I'm finding it very hard to fully invest myself when I'm dating now. When I make out a guy, I don't feel butterflies and I don't give it my all. I feel like a cat that someone is holding above the water. It's a very strange feeling. I feel like I'm watching the scene as it happens, as if I was always holding something back.

My last relationship lasted almost 2 years and the breakup was 2 months ago. It was my first serious relationship but I have no interest in ever getting back with my ex. We have no contact.
Just to make the matter worse, I saw my ex for the first time since our breakup TODAY. He's taking evening classes for his master's degree at our university. I had an exam tonight, so I was sitting with my friends at the school cafeteria aroung 6h30. He walked by, turned around, stopped, stared at me and nodded quickly, kinda expecting a response from me. I FROZE and didn't do anything. I was chewing my food at this moment and that was all I could focus on. I just stared back. He left after.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Like QueenBeatris said, 2 months is not enough, my ex broke up with me 7 months ago and I still don't feel ready to start anything with anybody my feelings were serious about my ex and the relationship lasted 5 months I'm somehow starting to feel better but I still feel weird when I flirt or a girl flirts with me I want a serious relationship too, so I need to fully heal, analyze the relationship, learn from it, and not jump into any girl unless I'm sure she is the kind of girl I want to be with, I suggest you not to date anybody for a while, it would be a mistake if you start a relationship too soon, and you would realize it later, just enjoy your time and focus on yourself for now you can flirt and everything but I wouldn't recommend you to start a relationship for now, you will see if you take this time I said the strange feeling will disappear.

    • Hang in there keep doing it, it takes time but you will eventually be back to normal ^^

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What Girls Said 2

  • 2 months is not enough time to heal..u are not emotionally ready, I understand how hard it is to trust guys,they don't get any better at my age..but you have to keep hopeful that you will meet him one day

  • It took me almost a year to fully let go of my ex. Well, at least 6-7 months. It takes awhile, and thinking about them and missing them makes the process MUCH longer. A year later, I am ready for a relationship and I'm in one with a guy who I can trust. It takes a lot of time and I still have trust issues, it's just an internal issue you'll have to overcome yourself.


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