On and off now for a couple years I have had doubts about us. I have wondered if we are meant to be together. If I'm "In love with her" or if I just "love her". I am having these doubts now stronger than before. I just had a talk with her about this last night. She says she often felt these same doubts. And that she just stuck through it and the doubts would go away. That something would happen that would strengthen us. And I have also done the same, with the same result. Are these doubts normal?
Last year around this time (October). I cheated on her. I was having these same doubts then, and was questioning us. Alcohol was involved, but I'm not using that as an excuse. It is the only regret I have in my life. It is a flaw on myself that I can never erase. And I will never do it again. It made me feel horrible about myself. I confessed to her what I did. She forgave me not 5 seconds after I told her. And still wanted to be with me. We're still together now, and have worked past my horrible mistake together.
Just last week I met a woman who I now have a crush on. Is this normal? If I'm in love with my girlfriend, shouldn't I not feel this way towards another woman? She knows this, I confided in her about it as well. She says she has had crushes too but has never pursued them because of us.
I don't know what it is I want in a relationship anymore. Though she is everything I want in a woman, I doubt my own happiness. I don't know if what we have is what I want. I sometimes wonder if we stay together out of convenience or fear of being alone. We are only human after all. Is this just human nature?
But these doubts are resurfacing again, and I'm unsure. Should we take a break? Should we date other people to see if what we have is what we want? Should we just break-up, as we aren't meant to be? I need help. I don't know what to do.
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I have had the very same experience as you, I've dated the same man from high school, for 8 years and in a time of doubt I cheated on him as well, he then admitted to me he had cheated on me, this was a few years ago now, we have a kid together now so I'm going to give it a longterm shot...
I really do like the part where you said it was a flaw you can never erase, I feel the same, just awful about it. Like I'm less of a person. Its tempting to start over just because of that, and I wanted to leave him because I cheated on him.
anyway from what your saying it sounds like you really need a break just to see where you stand, you've never had another relationship and maybe its something you need to do in order to truly appreciate one.