Am I in a downward spiral? Should I just cut my losses?

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year now, and he's just been changing lately. He's been so jealous of my friends and constantly doubts me and our relationship. We live in an apt together and I'm renting a house in April. He says that he is not going to move with me because I'm "unsupportive, a destraction" and he needs "options". He's said he is going to get his own place. He has started calling me by my name instead of baby, and I can barely get him to kiss me or say "I love you" back w/o making a fuss about it. Today he told me that "We don't agree on anything so how would we ever have a family together?" I don't know what to do. This has all been such a shock to me lately because I thought we were great. I love him so much, but I don't want to be the only one putting effort into this relationship and stick around for 2 more years and it end badly. If he is tired of me I wish he would just say so. Should I ask him to move out for now or just try until April to fix w/e his issue is? I know relationships have their rough patches, but it has been a rough few months. He'll be great for a day or 2, but then he's right back at it. He doesn't seem proud of me that I just got promoted and am already working my ass off for the next one, he doesn't want to eat dinner with me anymore, I get all dolled up and he just falls asleep on the couch. If I tell him all of these things he'll be normal again for the night, but that's it. I'm just so tired of bursting into tears over him now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The downward spiral is going to continue so bail out while you're, at least, talking. It you wait too long to split it'll be a very rough fall for you when you hit the ground. Based on all the hurtful things he said about you I'd say something has come about in his life and/or relationship with you that has left no more room for you in his heart or physically. Nothing is going to get fixed based on how he's talking to you now. There's nothing to patch up as far as I can tell based on all the things you mentioned here. It'd be like trying to patch a 4-inch hole with enough putty for a 1-in one. It's not going to happen/work. I'm sure if you look back in your relationship with him you should be able to see how you gradually drifted a part. You needed to do something much sooner than now. Now it's too late! You can try to at least "get along until you're able to rent the house, but maybe since he won't be moving with you, you won't be needing a house. Another apartment will do or you can ask him to leave ASAP where you're at and then just stay there and try to start over. You don't want to stay around a negative person any longer than you absolutely have to. Enough of that has rubbed off on your already. Time for some positive thinking and a positive attitude to replace all his negativeness. Our dominant thoughts eventually turn to action so you need to rid yourself of his negativeness. You need to try and take care of your own life and be happy because no one else will do that for you. Hopefully, you'll meet some other guy that loves you for who you are and brings you happiness. You may be glad things worked out the way the did with this guy that is now bringing misery to your life. Good luck!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why wait until April, you should split up now! He's not going to turn back into the dreamy guy he used to be. It's time to cut your losses!


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