Intimacy problems after being cheated on?

I was cheated on back in July and that was pretty much the end of a relationship I had with someone who always made me the #1 thing in her life. I always made her the #1 thing in my life and then one day it just ended and I never got an explanation, I was just told what happened and we never spoke again.

Since that day happened I have found myself in position 3 times to have a serious relationship with someone else. I didn't wait for long after we broke up to try and move on. But I just can't put myself in a position to get hurt again. I went out with a girl 4 times and then s topped speaking to her because I didn't want to get hurt and I knew that it hurt her. Today a girl I have dated for a little less than a month told me she loves me. I don't know what to say all I can think about is what happened last time.

Anyone have any ideas or ever had issues like this before?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think a lot of people have had that problem. I'm sorry you were cheated on. It's possible that you just aren't ready for a serious relationship at the moment. If that's the case, try to be transparent with they people you're dating. If they still fall hard and fast, it's their issue at that point.

    It's possible, too, that being a bit needy and vulnerable after the breakup has made you attractive to people who want to rush things. Dating less than a month and dropping L-bombs seems rushed, to me. What we project often attracts a counterpart behavior. I'd also be on the lookout for manipulative people or controlling people during this hard time.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thank you for that. I know I rushed things but following my relationship I was cheated on I felt lonely like no one wanted me. I went out and looked for someone to fill the void that was left but I can't fully commit to a relationship I just feel like I need someone though.

      I could see how that could happen, people can often pick up on that behavior and feel like we can connect that way. I just don't want to get hurt again but in the process I end up hurting other people I don't want to.

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What Girls Said 4

  • well you can't blame what's in your present for what someone did in your past ... If you hold back so long you can miss that one person who actually ment they LOVE You ... You should try to have Ur guard up but not all the way expect good and bad don't let Ur heart get all into it unless you see that she's ready or unless you feel that she's serious with you

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  • I feel the same way after being left for someone else with no warning. I think you need to wait before you get into a new relationship, you need time to heal.

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    • Thanks. I have a problem being alone since I was with her. I feel like I have to have someone in my life even if I don't have feelings for them. But all it does it lead to me hurting them.

  • Explain to her that you were cheated on last time and you want to take things slow.

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    • I told her but I don't think she understands how bad it made me feel. She just said oh that sucks I would never do that to you. I know she meant well but it just kind of felt insensitive to me.

  • yes.. I was cheated on pretty badly too. Not to get into it.. But for you it may be soon. No need to rush anything. It took me and still is years.. But I was in a marriage.

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