So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. We're both freshman in college and we've both had completely different transitions to living away from each other and home. He went off the deep end, got into drugs, failing school, and basically not giving a sh*t about me. I wouldn't doubt that he's cheated on me either because he denies it but he says it in a tone which is not very sure of himself. I've had an easy time, haven't gone through a self destruction phase, and have been completely faithful. Stupid me kept the relationship going through his hard time and now he's finally coming back to normal which has been a struggle. He constantly says he loves me more than anything in the world, and when I broke up with him one time during his crazy phase he broke down crying and apologizing and I got back with him the next day. I kind of regret doing that. Continuing to be with him has been so hard. Somedays, he's perfect. Other days, he forgets about me, could care less about what's going on in my life, and grosses me the f*** out when he asks me to dress like a slut for him. (not my style!) He recently bought 5 posters of naked girls and hung them all over his room...not something he would have done 4 months ago. It grosses me out that he's become such a scum, and so not himself, but underneath it all I still have feelings for him. I never know which is stronger, and I've never been so confused in my life. I could just use some help straightening out what's best for me.
Most Helpful Guy
If you leave you get some heartache now, some experience and wisdom, and some new opportunities waiting in the future.
If you stay, you gamble that he will eventually be able to pull through his addictions and emerge a better person (also becareful of 'switching addictions' as addictive behavior can be transitory), and you also signup for all the (potentially years) of discomfort and difficulty waiting for that to happen (if it happens).
No wonder many of the answerers are telling you to cut this guy loose.
I can't tell you what to do, because I'm not in your shoes and I don't feel about him how you feel about him. None of us really know that. So all I can advise you to do is this:
If you choose to go, then go, but prepare yourself to not regret and not look back.
If you choose to stay, make sure you are not staying to put off or procrastinate dealing with the heartache that comes with leaving, and that you will not regret your choice to give him more time, however much time you decide that should be.
Either way, you make a decision and then you pay for it. You decide what the costs are worth to you.
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