How do I move from a friendship to a relationship?

When in comes to women, my problem isn't meeting them. I'm an outgoing and friendly person who is comfortable interacting with women. Becoming friends with a girl is not much of a problem for me. However, the problem I do have, is getting girls to be my girlfriend.

Now I'm not totally inept. I know the basics of flirting, and dating, and I've had my fair share of GF's. I can usually play along just fine if the girl sort of initiates things and makes it pretty obvious she's into me. The problem though is most girls aren't going to make any strong moves. They are going to wait for me to keep things moving. This is why most if not all of my GF's sort of made the first move.

So far I pretty much revert to the old "I want to take you out to dinner", sort of thing. However, I'm not sure this is really working, especially with the younger crowd. Plus, beyond that I'm sort of stuck. Again, if the girls isn't completely 100% playing along so to speak. I lose all confidence and don't know what to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i don't think you should be worrying this much cause you have already had several successes in relationships before , plus if you consider your self goodlooking or attractive then don't worry at all

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    • Yeah but if you actually look at my success vs attempted percentage its not that great. It's like of every 50girls I meet, one of them is actually interested in having a relationship with me. At the same time, I see guys who have no where near my "dating resume" but pretty pretty much almost never single because a much higher percentage of women they meet are interested in dating them. This makes me think I'm missing something. Maybe I just don't know how to escalate unless she does it for me.

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What Girls Said 3

  • how old are u?

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    • 26.

    • tell the girl what you like about her (looks and personality), and then just plain ask her out if you like her and if you "click".

  • Ask her out already.

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    • I have but it was a social event for my frat. She cancelled plans and agreed to go with me. I figured that was a good sign and from that point forward things would start rolling. We're still great friends, but nothing really happens. She doesn't flirt or even respond to my flirting. She's a bit on the shy confident sign so part of me thinks she's just gonna sit back and make me to everything, so I need to ask her on another date or something, to kick start the relationship again.

  • So your giving signals you are also interested in them , but not taking it any further? Guys are so confusing sometimes.

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    • I flirt, I ask them to go to things with me. I offer to take them to dinner, movies, etc (aka dates). But someone when I do things like flirt. I just don't seem to get much of a response. Things don't continue to escalate. The only times they do are when the girl is a very outgoing and type A person who will escalate things herself.

What Guys Said 1

  • Are you maybe going too far into a friendship before you try the relationship? For me, successful relationships were when I never did 'friend' things with a girl before a date.

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    • I understand this but it completely goes against who I am so its hard to do. I just don't attracted to girls fast. Yeah a girl can be hot, but that alone doesn't make me want to date her necessarily. I have to get to know a girl before I realize she's a match. Also most girls I meet are in social settings, typically in groups. I'm sort of forced into a friend situation. The only times it doesn't happen that way is if the girl immediately is smitten with me so things move faster.

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