Would you try to get an ex back if they had dumped you?

I'm curious as I left my ex about 4 months ago because he had a horrible temper and showed me little respect. He's gone through all the motions of telling me to never speak to him again, but each time he started conversation with me again and indicates he's still interested (says he misses me, wants to catch up, x at the end of messages). I don't encourage it cause I doubt he's changed, last we talked bout the relationship he wouldn't even admit he was in any way a problem.

So, my question is would you try and get an ex back if they had dumped you? Would you try and do it if you believed you hadn't changed?
Updates:
Just to make clear, I'm not asking if I should go back. I'm asking if you where dumped, would you try and get the relationship back?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Normally you do it if you love someone and have changed. You don't do it if you haven't changed. Has he stated his wrongings to you? If he has, then he has clearly spotted were he has gone wrong, and knows what to do and not to do the next time around.

    You have to realize, that okay so what he has yelled at you, has his hit you? If he has, then I would say to stay away from him, cause that unfortunately is a big thing that he cannot control. But if he hasn't, and he just gets mad, well everyone in every relationship gets mad. What are you gonna do? just leave when the next guy gets mad too? Maybe you will, but you can't always expect to "abandon" something when someone else cannot comply. I doubt you will leave with the next guy, as a matter of fact, ull probably just stick it out, cause then you will realize, "sh*t, I shouldn't have the last guy, cause there was just no point in leaving". Aka you will be able to tolerate it, cause you already went through it. But you'll always want to wish you were with this guy.

    Anyways, long story short, do you wanna have his kids, is what this comes down too. If you do, then you will have to speak and want to work with him. If not, then you can tell him nicely that your sorry. And hope that your new relationships moving forward have no "fights". But they will. But anyways, story for next time.

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What Guys Said 3

  • And yes, if I was dumped, and the relationship to me was satisfying, and I could see into the future with this woman, aka kids and all. Then Yes I would fight. I would fight ill I couldn't anymore.

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  • It depends on the situation; but, generally, no. She have to return to me before I'd even consider it.

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  • I probably wouldn't go back. Maybe I would if it's been years, and things changed.

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's a tough question to answer... because I generally believe that getting back together with an ex is a bad idea when there were big personality problems/clashes. But at the same time I do believe that people can change if they want to change.

    In your case, I think the emphasis should be on "IF they want to change." It sounds like your ex hasn't really figured out why you dumped him or isn't willing to admit or apologize for the things he did that made you want to leave... and that's a big sign that he hasn't changed at all. Just the fact that he will tell you to never speak to him again, then "indicate" that he's still interested, all in one conversation... it just strikes me as manipulative and half-assed. If he really took a hard look at himself and wanted things to be different with you, he would be TELLING you that and trying to CONVINCE you of how things would be different if you gave him another chance.

    You had your reasons for leaving him once, and that should be the only information you need until HE proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that those reasons are no longer a concern.

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