Guys (mainly) - is it worth trying to stay friends after this happened?

It's a somewhat long story, but I'll try to keep it brief.

I broke up with my on-off boyfriend of 3 years about 4 months ago but, twist! he's not who this question is about. I got quite close to a friend of his who was helping me out with a school project and, after I was broken up with my ex, I started being very attracted to him. I'm 22, I have a 5-year-old, he's 20, and I've been with maybe 10-11 guys, but I've only ever felt this way about a guy once before.

I was still on friendly terms with my ex, so I asked for his blessing to pursue this guy (he was fine with it. Our relationship was over emotionally for months before we broke up, there was no issue of jealousy or anything for either of us). So, myself and this guy had sex, and he seemed really into it (he was 'up' for it before we even started, if you know what I mean :p).

Afterwards, he got cold and distant, said he didn't want to do it again because

*he felt bad for my ex (even though my ex was fine with it)

*he had a thing for a girl he met in Europe over a year ago

*he wasn't attracted to me. He said 4/10.

I can understand the second one, but the first and third seem like bullsh*t to me. The thing is, he's only had 4 partners before, and only ever had sex in a relationship except with one girl, who he started dating later. He said to me that we are very close and that he wanted to stay close.

Anyhow, he went to Europe about a week later, and he loaned me two of his favorite comedy DVDs (he never lends out DVDs or games) and he also said I could sleep in his bed if I came to visit his family while he was away (he hates people being in his room when he's not there, let alone them touching his stuff or sleeping in his bed). I've left him alone to enjoy Europe, because I've been busy and I don't want to ruin his trip by being clingy or whatever. He blocked me on FB chat, which made me super angry, but I eventually just said whatever, I'll figure out if I want to stay friends while he's away.

He got back yesterday, and I still don't know what to do. My logical brain says 'he's an assclown and a time-waster, move on and don't look back' but my heart says 'but you connected on so many different levels, it's hard to find people you really click with, and maybe one day he'll want to be more than friends.'

I can think of a few reasons why he wouldn't want anything more with me, but I need a fresh perspective from someone, preferably straight guys from the same age group.

Sorry for the essay, but it is quite involved. If it weren't for a few details like him letting me sleep in his bed while he's away and stuff I wouldn't even have this dilemma. Thanks. :)


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's an ass. He didn't have to get personal and mean, but when he said that he wasn't attracted to you and rated you a 4/10, he did. He then got petty and acted as if he was a child by blocking you on Facebook chat (which I'm interested to know how you found out that he blocked you because I thought Facebook wouldn't divulge that kind of information). Nevertheless, he sound like an ass and was inconsiderate. You're better off without him in your life.

    • Just noticed that he was marked as offline but still posting photos from his camera and statuses and stuff. It popped up in my news feed as 'a few seconds ago', but I'd been online chatting with another mate for a while. After that I got confused and Googled it. Thanks for the advice, pretty sure I'll just mail his DVDs back and forget about him ASAP.

What Girls Said 1

  • he didn't want to hurt your feelings since he was going to see his lover in eurpe,that's why he said you could sleep in his bed and borrow the dvds but his ACTIONS speak loud and clear,he is a major douche


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