Why do guys contact girls after a break up or a long break?

So I am wondering about this behavior. This probably is the single most confusing male behavior for me.

Guys, almost always contact me again after a break up or a break. Regardless of the nature of relationship.Be it friends with benefits , dating, exclusively dating, etc., etc.,

Why do you guys do this? Is because you are desperate? Genuinely missed her? looked around and didn't find anyone better? Seriously what gives? and what do you hope to accomplish by contacting the girl?

The nature of the contact can be random or a romantic attempt.
That just it .. The content and the nature could be anything from random or romantic. What I want to know is why guys do this? Is it common or I just happen to encounter this situation more often than the rest?

Thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally it has always been about sex. Trying to rekindle the actual relationship has never been on my mind, but I never told them that.

    I always made sure that the break ups were done without any screaming or fighting. Only one was a bad one, but she was bipolar and off her meds at the time.

    Most turned me down, but the few that didn't were great in bed and it was to our mutual benefit.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Most people who contact their ex's after a break up is after two of the following, Either they want to rekindle the relationship they once had or They want to become platonic friends.

    Usually it depends on how the person acts that gives away their intention for the contact. Sometimes they want to just be friends and sometimes they want things to go back to the way things were or more, it depends.

  • well if the natures romantic then they haven't been looking for another 'better' as you say. if its random, maybe theyre drunk? or perhaps they wanted more from you? could be desire, infatuation or lust, or even love? but I think the first 3 are far more real. but then I'm cynical.

    answer one of mine?

    • I tend to agree.. Can't be love, certainly not in a short live first attempt.

      As girls I will not contact a guy again, EVER! I just dot know why men don't have the same discipline

    • Show All
    • lol you'll never know, never! OK, I'm a guy. I'm wearing boxers. :) I'm sure of that. but seriously, I think maybe he waited all that time to better himself, you know, to make a comeback! only you can answer that theory. but its what I've done in the past if that helps. its like when you first break up and you meet a few weeks later, you girls make us feel like sh*t lol because we show up all casual and you always look your best. you say he contacted you, whatd he say?

    • He wanted to know where did he went wrong. Like a feed back. Didn't ask to meet up or anything.

      I honestly don't know. But why after 5 months lol

  • Well as long as you guys didn't have a nasty break up, I don't see any problem with contacting the person. I normally would do this if I missed the girl and just was curious to see how she's doing. It's not because I couldn't find someone else. It's a rule of mine not to hook up with ex's

  • It can be for a lot of reasons I've message all my previous Girlfriends to stay in contact or friends.But the last one I've texted to try and say I miss her but it seems to hard to tell her

  • Sometimes a guy is too immature to know what he has in a woman and loses her due to his stupidity. After some time passes he may sow more of his oats and discover that he had a great thing. You are clearly beautiful and smart so I know if I was mature enough when I first dated a woman like you I would never lose you but it takes a few years for a guy to be grown up enough to settle down or to realize what they have in a woman. It is ALWAYS romantic (@update). Yes there are times when it boils down to more booty but in your case no way (lol it has to be part booty in your case but that is part of the whole package)


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not sure what it is in YOUR case, but I can answer from MY experience. I've had a couple exes contact me as well. When I talked to them about it and guy friends I'd had at the time, I came to the conclusion that they contacted me to see if they could. Basically, to see IF they so chose to re-open that door, IF I'd respond or be willing. I had one tell me that he just texted me to see if I'd answer, haha!

    • Yup.. That is what in thinking to see if they can reopen the door. Why? Sex I guess haha. Funny how they almost always contact :)

    • It could be sex, it could also be like a backup plan. I've had that done to me, one guy tried to keep me around, so to speak, string me along in case the woman he was dating didn't turn out to be awesome or whatever, haha! I wasn't having that.

    • Good for you! Smart girl

Recommended myTakes