Boyfriend of 2 months seems to be too serious, too fast and I don't get how. What do you think?

he says he sees this relationship ending with us dying in each others arms. I feel like its too soon to think this. I'm a realistic person and I think its realistic that we will break up (this is both of ours first relationship, we're 18, in college). my friend says that its romantic and because of the modern age we live in, its hard to think that we could find love at first relationship although hundreds of years ago it was normal.

I'm not saying we won't end up together in the end, but maybe only after we break up and get back together after we've spent a few years exploring other options.

i don't want to break up with him, I enjoy his time and company so much but I don't see us staying together forever from this point being that reasonable...

i think this is just a first relationship high but then again his friends say that he was like this before he started dating me. he always said how he wanted one girl and that's it, but how could he know its me this soon and when we are this young? I don't usually believe that the first person you date or even fall in love with is the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with. its been 2 months!

its not that what he says about us staying together, having kids etc scares me, its more like I don't see how someone could feel this way after 2 months..

and yeah he's a bit of a romantic but he's really not one of those extreme people, where emotions run high for a short period of time, he's pretty stable and level headed normally

what do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmmm. I must admit that what he said is pushing it way too far. Yet then again I remember more than one time I said something like that because it seemed right in my mind set at the time. Quoting something from a romantic movie I had recently viewed, or maybe a book I had just read.

    Hey, the lines worked for the actor didn't they?

    Consider that he has just entered into his first relationship. I very vividly remember my first love, and yes I said some pretty stupid stuff now that look back on it. To this day I would still marry that girl in a heart beat. Only problem is she, and I grew up and became very different people. We still stay in touch and I love her dearly. Marry her? OH HELL NO! We'd kill each other within a year.

    If you remember a few things you will be fine in this, and if, other relationships throughout your life.

    Love is a journey not a destination.

    If you are speaking loud enough for someone in the next room to hear you neither one of you are saying anything to resolve the problem.

    Three things will make any relationship a great one. Communication, communication, and communication.

    Hope this helps.

    Regards, Smitty

    • thanks so much for this advice.

      i totally, 100% agree with "love is a journey, not a destination". I told him that in attempt to get him to cool it down. also, we have great, great communication; I made sure of that. I always promised myself that in my first relationship, ill make sure there is good communication and we have that.

      its just strange to think that within 2 months, he could maybe be thinking about me as his love. its so new to me and I don't see how he could think that that fast

    • is falling in love that easy? and does that mean that I don't love him because it didn't happen so fast? I do really like him and enjoy his time oh so much and would be heart broken if we broke up, but I'll admit I don't love him. but then again I don't know what relationship love feels like - do you just know?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, I agree that it's far too soon for him to be talking about those kind of things. I've met a few girls and had a passing thought here or there at the beginning that I could see us ending up together, but, at the same time, I am realistic and knew that we probably won't, so I never voiced those thoughts to them.

  • His clinger level is over 9000!

    • he's not clingy. he has his own friends and I have mine, some overlap. we really don't spend every waking moment together. some day we only see each other for less than an hour

    • Show All
    • oh okayy

      any advice though? what should I think about this?

    • I think others have given you some good advice. You're going to have to get him to tone it down a notch which is probably going to make him a little sad at first but just explain to him that it's perfectly normal and okay. You simply like to move at a slower pace than he does and if the relationship is good you both should be able to adjust to where you're both comfortable.

What Girls Said 1

  • Ooookay...that's weird. I'm super excited that this guy seems to think he's found his "one" but he is doing nothing but freaking you out. Tell him that.

    Two months is very soon.

    I mean, I knew after two months that I loved my boyfriend but to say that "this relationship will end with us dying in each others arms"? Um...awkward!

    He's putting the cart before the horse and needs to slow way way down. You need to talk to him about this and get on the same page. But be gentle and understanding of his affection for you.

    I met my boyfriend when I was 14 and knew almost immediately that I wanted to marry him. Did I go and tell him that? Of course not. Does he know now? Yes, he's known for a few months now, but we're 20 and both understand that we're dating with the intention of finding a spouse and are both interested in the other being that spouse but we also both understand that there are no absolutes and that we're still very young and there will be a lot of things in our way (college, career, etc.) before we can even think about marriage.

    Best of luck to you.