So I guess I'll start from the beginning. My ex-fiancé and I were together almost 6 years, a week or so shy of 6 years. We started dating in high school, I was 16 and she was 15. Like any other relationship we had our ups and downs but managed to stay together through all the tough times. When I was 20 I decided I was going to join the Army. She wasn't too fond of the idea but I figured I would do it to better my life and create a future for me and her and our family eventually. I left for basic training in Sept. 08'. Our relationship seemed to get even stronger when I was away. Anyway I finish basic, come home for a month and then leave for my gaining unit. She stayed back home and we both were wanting her to come out and live with me on post. Things were a little strained the first few months because of the amount of work I was doing and not having cell phone service where I was stationed didn't help. Well during this time one of my "buddies" from back home called/texted my ex saying I was cheating on her, which I cleArly was not and wouldn't ever. She brings it up and me wanting to fix things flys back home on a four day weekend two weeks before my birthday. Well before the incident, she had been pushing me to buy a ring and ask her to marry her. Well when I was home on that weekend I proposed to her and she said yes. Two weeks later on my birthday I get a happy birthday phone call from her in the morning, she even sang it. Hours later I get a phone call saying she needs to "find herself" and "if you love someone you let them go and eventually they'll come back". It was a sh*tty breakup and I was devestated needless to say, it made a grown ass man (me) cry like a little girl for months.
Fast forward to now, I've had a couple relationships since then, she's got a boyfriend. I still think about her constantly...I kinda obsess about it and it consumes me daily. I'm sick of living my life this way and need help/advice on letting it finally go! Thanks for reading.
Most Helpful Guy
Sir I don't know you but I have gone trough a somewhat similar situation. With a women I was in a relationship for two years, I asked her to marry me and she said she would love that. One day it became hard for the two of us to find time for one another and instead of working through it she sent me a message saying we should have time apart and gave me the whole if you love something you let it go crap. She also told me I could have any girl I want, which made me feel worse because I wanted her not someone else. I find out a couple weeks later she is already in a new relationship, her family already knows about the guy and they had pictures of themselves together from before, it's clearly obvious she already was with the guy.
Since the day that happened I can move on meet other people but at the end of the day in my mind I knew what I had then and I knew what I felt. This was someone I had made plans with to spend my life with and one day she just cuts me out of it and then I am expected to go on with my life just like that. It doesn't work I will tell you that. I have gone on a cross country trip, meet several people but still there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her.
You can find other women to date, you can find activities to occupy your mind but your always going to have to deal with the fact you invested a significant portion of your life with someone you loved and she hurt you. Trust me following the break up your going to have feelings like why you weren't good enough for them, how you might never find anyone else, it is really something that is going to play on your mind and time isn't going to make a difference.