I have never been in this sort of number situation. Advice?

I'm in grad school and have been acquaintances with this guy since school started. Initially, I always noticed him staring at me and I always stared back. A few weeks ago, we hung out together in a group and talked a bit. We hung out in a group again and pretty much chatted the entire night. When I see him at school he always stops to say hello and smiles. This past week we hung out in a group again, and thing went very well. He held my hand, put his arm around me and even kissed me. At one point I think he was trying to get my number, but I didn't catch on (dumb me). Anyways, so now we have kissed, but he still doesn't have my number, which has never happened to me. I've seen him since and he is all smiles and has been chatty (he is never alone though when I see him at school, so we barely ever have a one-on-one conversation). I will be hanging out with him again this week. How can I make sure he gets my number this time without me being direct or coming off as aggressive?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's great that you have to foresight to think about coming off as aggressive. That will help your dating life in the future. In some cases you will have to be more aggressive to get what you want though - but it won't matter if you go about it the right way.

    In this case you don't have to worry at all. Since you have already held hands, kissed and you chat in a group of people the "number situation" isn't very relevant.

    Just give him the number on a piece of paper or something. He obviously wants it and he might feel a bit shy about asking for it. Give him a break and give it to him.

    There's loads more about these types of situation in this book - How to Get Men of Value


    • Thanks! I asked him out and we went out last week. The date went so well! His friend said he likes me but that he moves really slowly. He hasn't asked me out or even texted me first ever. I asked him to a group thing and he sent me back such a nice and specific text as to why he couldn't make it, and said def next time. He still stares at me and always makes an effort to talk to me. Any idea why he isn't pursuing it? We're in law school, and finals are two weeks - bad timing? So confused.

    • Yes. I would advise to stop texting him first all the time. It will cause you to lose value in his eyes. He is probably just more focused on passing the finals than dating at the moment.

    • I've only texted him first twice to finalize plans - no conversation. I have a lot of self-respect and value myself, so I would never cross the desperate boundary.

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