I'm not sure how to move on.

I became extremely good friends with this girl, we could literally talk about anything, I was even more comfortable talking to her about issues or anything personal with her than any of my best friends and she was the same way. I ended up falling in love with her, didn't tell her because she said she wasn't ready for a relationship since she just got out of a really bad, I helped her through the breakup and a lot of the after math of it so I saw first hand just how much it affected her so I respected her not being ready to move on. She found a boyfriend a couple months later and fell in love with him, I stopped talking to her for almost 2 months because I just couldn't handle it. She was upset with me for obvious reasons and I wouldn't tell her why until I finally worked past the anxiety to tell her in person. We're still very good friends and even though I've been told it's best if she wasn't in my life, I still talk to her. I honestly think it would be wrong for me to push her out of my life like I tried before. I'm just not sure how to move on, even when I did shut her out I couldn't move on. I would feel guilty if I tried to have a relationship with someone else because she's on my mind so I just don't know what to do besides give it time even though it's been like 5 months since I've started to try to get over her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You'll move on when your heart is ready. Simple as that.

    I'm in a similar situation. Best male friend, was friends for year, got super close, for a year at some point he began flirting, we were friends with benefits for a year, had some rocky patches but still close as 2 can be. I was coming out of a long relationship, as long as I've known him he says he didn't want a relationship he liked how things were. Then bam he's dating someone.

    I never told him my feelings, assumed he knew. I never expected a relationship but doesn't hurt any less. I said friendship first so even though my heart is still breaking I never pushed him away. However at this point I say if he wants me in his life he'll make the effort to keep me there. He contacts me first 95% of the time.

    Some think I need to let him go, but I can't. I've always wanted his friendship and he says he wants mine. He contact me pretty much every day. Maybe I'm hurting more by keeping him in my life but I need him and believe he needs me. My friendship sounds like it was much longer and maybe that makes it harder. I'm trying to move on but no one makes me feel the way he does. Hopefully one day someone will sweep me off my feet and I'll move on but I still want him I'm my life.

    good luck my friend. I wish us both luck!

    • Yeah, I've only known her for a year. We moved pretty fast in terms of friendship but never got to the point of being friends with benefits, we did flirt and give each other some intense massages but how do you keep telling yourself that? You're obviously pretty strong about this, or at least stronger than me lol, but when someone says how great of a person you are but they're just not romantically interested it kinda lowers my self esteem.

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    • Got ya added I think lol

    • I did send you a message

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What Girls Said 2

  • & why can't you two be together now?

    Well, if it's absolutely impossible to be with her, then do limit your talks or even seeing her at all, and do date other people even if you still think about her. Eventually your feelings for her will slowly fade or just pass on to be what "once was", and one of the girls you date will become more than just a date, I'm sure of it.

    • She has a boyfriend now, she told me she knows she's going to marry him. I told her I regret not saying anything earlier, she says it wouldn't have made a difference even though a week before she started dating this guy she told me in person that she didn't want anything more than friendship from him, that she didn't see them being together, but the moment he confessed his love to her she fell head over heals for him. Limiting does help, and I don't see her much anymore but I don't know how to start dating

  • I had the same problem with a guy. We were good friends, hung out nearly everyday for months while he was getting over someone. I did the same thing as you eventually, tried to move on but never feeling 'right' about entering a new relationship. I wish I had just ran the course until I was ready but instead we reconnected. And reconnecting with him was the worst thing I ever could have done to myself. It really effed up my perspective on relationships, and it took me years (literally. ..7 yrs) to move on. The process wouldve been quicker if I just let go the first time.

    Not everyone's the same. But that's my advice to you. If she wants you she'll make it happen. But until then I don't see a point to a friendship that involves watching her go to guy to guy.

    • She has put a lot of effort into fixing the friendship and I'm pretty sure this is her last boyfriend so I don't have to worry about being in the situation where someone you like goes from person to person again, so that's nice. But it's looking like the best way to sort things out is to force myself past that feeling of guilt. Aside from the feelings, my friendship with her was probably the best I've had, I normally shut people out even my best friends. Even now it's one of the most stable I have

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    • It's funny, I'm usually the one helping friends with their problems and I feel the same way, they say that it really does make a difference though and I kinda shrug that off thinking it's no big deal. Now I'm in the other position I can say that it really does help. And besides for a period before I met her. that's how I operated, had priorities, was content on waiting for the right one, then I met her, fell harder than expected, but had nobody to help me back up since she didn't catch me

    • Well I hope you find a way to get back on track!

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