How do I change a sexual relationship into a meaningful one?

What do I do I'm hella in love with my ex, but he says he can only give me a sexual relationship. I really don't feel good about this but I'm willing to sacrifice my true feelings so I can spend time with him. What should I do, should I tell him or not. I almost rather be friends and hang out than just have sex at least I could hang out with him, but I'm scared he won't want this and I would lose him all together, but I know if this relationship continues eventually it will end and friends last a lot longer. I feel hella sad and conflicted. Only good advice please no stupid ones.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not sure what "good advice" means to you but here is what I have to say.

    I know how hard it is when we women have so much feelings for someone its hard to make decisions that we know our best. WE always put ourselves in hard situations as a result. You know what to do..like don't you ever feel your brain is telling you one thing and your heart the other? After every bad relationship, we say to ourselves "im going to follow my head from now on" Well, at least I do that..and it doesn't stick.

    As for your situation, there is nothing I can say that you don't already know. I would tell him because its good for you to get that part out of your system. I think he's quite direct with his intentions. It doesn't seem that he is going to budge on that. So everything after that is in your court. If you stay then you've made a decision to basically agree those terms and that means you can't ever talk about the love you have with him again. If you dont, then you are deciding to give yourself a chance to find someone who can offer you what you need. The problem here is not being able to accept your situation and not having the courage to move on.

    I have a lot of feelings for my boyfriend but the pattern of our relationship shows me that its not gonna work..i made a estimate ..so I broke it off. My past, I would stay to the end..but I don't have to stay to the end to know its not working. When one gets older, we have to learn how to know what we want and have the courage to get it...and let go if it isn't it. This helps us learn to pick the right people.

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    • Well as much as I know what to do sometimes hearing some extra advice is really helpful and I appreciate your input. If only it were all like a romeo and Juliet story. I remember when we were together and we would talk about what romantic couple we were from the past. It was so unique and really beautiful. I never did that with anyone else. I haven't been in a lot of relationships probably cause I'm choosy and I don't hop into bed with everyone. I would walk away but my heart would break

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    • Oh I'm sorry, okay so when he said that comment about pregnancy, it seemed passive aggressive. As if he's saying "god, I don't want a kid for crying out loud" like he's trying to make a joke out of it to see what your intentions are...he thinks you want him to be the father, the committed, the married life. That is my hunch based on the clues. He doesn't want that lifestyle of being a husband, father, espeicially how he just go into his freedom and a job. He just started to live.

    • Ok thanks, I thought the same thing myself. Well I'll keep you updated

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What Guys Said 2

  • You are only hurting yourself. You should cut all ties to stop this pain that you are putting yourself into.

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  • You really can't do anything without him wanting the same. Look, you already lost him. It sounds like the only reason he wants you in his life is just for sex. You're sacrificing your true feelings with someone that's using you. I'm sorry to say but you're just postponing the hurt till later. If I was you I'd feel sad and conflicted to. You're situation has no positive outcome, I'm sorry. Stop wasting your time on this guy, You might miss someone that can actually make you happy. good luck

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well, the truth hurts but I do think he has been honest with you from the start and not leading you on. It's fair to say yeah it's good that you're drawing a line with him by just staying "friends" without the intimacy. You don't know the outcome yet until you update us here in GaG after you decide to tell him.

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  • Well coming from your age group also-I am wondering why in the world you even agreed to a FWB type of thing with an ex? An ex is an ex for a reason and unless there are kids involved, should be out of your life once that relationship is over. I have loved an ex for 14 years now-so I know it is hard to get over, however, once he was out of my life, he was out-it was done. Pride is a good thing. Have pride in yourself-confidence in yourself. Don't let him continue to use you for sex. Be better then that.

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  • Im telling you from experiance I went along with that for 3 years just because I still loved him after we broke up I found out he had a girlfriend and I was hurt but loved him and I made the stupid mistake of being the side chick his girlfriend ended up prenant and I didn't know until his daughter was born and even then we continued until I had enough it hurt to move on but it was my fault I hurt myself because I lead myself on . If he really cared about you he wouldn't use you for ex and if that's all he wants he isn't worthy of your time your worth more than that respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone who isn't goof for you .

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