Whenever my boyfriend gets stressed he feels like he needs to break up with me. What to do?

My boyfriend and I have not been together for very long, but our relationship is great. We have great chemistry and get along great and never fight. However, he works two jobs because he is saving up for a car and he gets very stressed out. When he gets overwhelmed he for some reason believes he has to break up with me. I would understand this if I was adding extra stress, but I'm super supportive of everything and never get on his case for not being able to see him that often, etc. This has happened twice and I did put up a bit of a fight to change his mind and he was always adamant about breaking up. However, once I then gave in and said fine we'll break up, that's when he changes his mind and says he wants to be with me. Basically, the minute I give in, he takes it all back, but when I'm arguing with him he keeps fighting me.

I don't know what to do about this. I'm super supportive and never make him spend money on me or bother him at all, how can I keep him from continuing to do this to me till he gets his car, cause I can't keep playing this ping pong game of emotions with him until that day comes.
He has two jobs because he wants to get this car as soon as possible. Once he gets the car he plans on quitting one of the jobs and just sticking to one job. But I don't know how long this will take and I don't know how much longer I can take this.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He's a Mountain Man.

    Mountain Men are a subspecies of Menkind that isolate themselves when they suffer any kind of stress. Attempting to take them out of this stress generally stresses them more making them go further and further into their crevasse. However Mountain Men back up with the intention to pounce and may from time to time burst out from the cave to attack whatever is attacking them and then once they've spent their energy or come to their senses they return to their high-strung hideout.

    What you do however is nothing. Let him do his sh*t. As I said Mountain Men will spring out at what they see as attackers, but they are delusional, so while you really are the good guy in high eyes you and every other damn living thing is critizing him and giving him sh*t about how he can't do X or Y. When a dog is cornered you let him go, yes? Well he's in a crevasse; you don't get much more cornered than that so you just let him try and throw a tantrum and when he does ( A.K.A. he's trying to get into position to pounce ) you just side-step it and leave him to his own devices until he calms down. That doesn't mean ignore him but what it does mean is just let him build his own tension and then alleviate his own tension.

    In essence he will be getting ready to pounce and then wear himself out and fall asleep in his cave.

    • Look, don't drum the drama drum. It won't be that long. If he turns crazy and it takes him 7 damn months go ahead but with decent money management it cannot possibly take more than 3.

  • See that's the issue, you have to consider whether he will always be in this situation... Because if he's always going to be stressed in work to keep paying bills then he will always have issues and want to break up if that's how he is at the moment. If this is just a rough patch and he is only saving up for the one thing and he's not suddenly going to move onto a deposit for a house then start over again, then maybe it could ease off. Other than that he'll probably still be stressed and you'll still be driven nuts over it.


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