Had sex, dumped me right after...

the guy I was dating, invited me over for his birthday... had sex with me, dumped me.. and then went out with his friends for his birthday...

(without ever had asked me to come... )

yikes.

mind you, we probably had been in some sort of argument before hand...this was a while ago... and I was a lot younger, and probably not the easiest girlfriend to handle. but honestly, is this not horrible thing to do with a person?

did he decide after the sex he was going to break up with me in that moment?

or did he know it was coming, have sex with me... and then do it after he got his moment of pleasure...

we talk to each other from time to time, and I try to let go of the past because we were both younger...and immature, but when I find myself re-kindling things with him, things like this come up for me even 3 years later ... and make me feel horrible...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm just going to go ahead and be blunt... He definitely knew beforehand, unless he was breaking up with you because of something that happened with the sex ( Either way, breaking up with someone based on sex one time is a stupid reason so I'd seriously doubt that) So I'd say he knew he was just going to end it, but wanted sex and just waited until he had it. Why would he be annoyed about whatever your argument was, yet hang around to have sex then all of a sudden think 'Oh yeah, I'm angry about what you said and it's coincidentally taken me this long to realize it'. The answer is, he wouldn't... He probably thought I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, but I want to have sex today. I'm going act like everything is alright, have sex and then get out of there.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Not quite sure what to do with this story. You both were horrible and ... the end.

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    • i don't think I was horrible... I was just a 19 year old girl, he was older than I. and on this particular day I was upset that he asked me to come over for sex, yet never included me in his birthday plans... is this horrible of me to be upset? and to feel worthless? I'm horrible for being upset?

    • Show All
    • your righhhht.

      we've just been in communication with each other recently, and all these old feelings come up and I don't know what to make of them, and they still sort of anger me. that was a really sensitive time for me.. that I am still working through in some ways. but thank you for your comment, and time . it is very much appreciated

    • Mhm. Godspeed.

  • That's what the jerks do, but girls still flock to them...

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  • Yeah he clearly had no 'true feelings' for you and just used you for sex. This is why you should take time and get to know 'the real person' before you go putting out so I am afraid you kind of brought all this on your self. Everything other people have answered is also completely true. Hopefully you have learned your lesson and won't make the same mistake again.

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What Girls Said 3

  • A lot of guys use girls for sex, that's obvious. He most likely just wanted sex and then figured he'll get rid of you after. I have known a lot of guys that have done that to girls. It sucks, but it's reality.

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  • He sounds like an arsehole, I would remove him from your life. Yeah maybe he has changed and maybe he feels bad about it, but you don't deserve a constant reminder of this hurtful event. Question is, has this jerk ever actually apologized to you? If not tell him to go and do one. Find yourself a REAL man, not this pansy! Sorry I am just angry that people can treat others this way.

    Ok if he had made it clear before hand that he was just after sex then fair enough, but if he made no inclination it was just a one night stand then I am sorry but he doesn't deserve an appendage.

    Cut the jerk out of your life. He doesn't deserve ANY of your time!

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  • but honestly, is this not horrible thing to do with a person?

    Not in my opinion though I may be bias as I'm quite indifferent to most things and my label of horrible tends to be reserved for harming children/animals.

    did he decide after the sex he was going to break up with me in that moment?

    Most likely he decided before the sex he was going to break up with you after he got sex. I find most guys tend to go to whatever lengths to get sex and quite a lot will date a gal for a while just to f*ck her and bust a nut in/on her.

    "Had sex, dumped me right after..."

    Seems like a norm heterosexual interaction for gals as many many many gals have the same experience. Perhaps it's suited to wait out on sex until he commits and continue to wait out until he commits for a certain amount of time such as wait until he's your boyfriend for at least 5 months.

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