Why am I suddenly missing my ex?

Okay so I dated a guy for a year or so before I broke up with him. I loved him very much and only broke up with him because he kept talking about moving to Alberta and I didn't want him to feel trapped in B.C with me. It's been 3 years since I dumped him and he's back in Alberta hopping from relationship to relationship. I'm still really close with his parents and when they brought up his name. I felt this pang and I noticed how much I really missed him and how jealous I was of this new girl. What's wrong with me? I thought I was passed this?


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  • I think it's natural to feel that way, first of all. It's not like you broke up because one of you was cheating, or because you were fighting constantly, or anything like that. You never felt the anger, followed by the release of the other person, that many people go through as part of a breakup. It sounds like you guys just went your separate ways and there wasn't much hostility (or closure) involved.

    Maybe you feel this way because you're single and have started reminiscing about the good times you had with him, wondering if it could happen again. Maybe you've never really let him go at all, but managed to push him to the back of your mind until now. Maybe you want the fairytale ending, deep down, because you let him go so long ago and now it's time for him to come back to you.

    The fact that you've stayed close with his family, even though you broke up 3 years ago, makes me wonder if you were ever really "over it." And please don't take that the wrong way, I'm not saying you were holding on and pining after him this whole time, but maybe a small part of you never really let go?

    These are just my best guesses, though. Only *you* can figure out why you feel this way now, and if it really means anything or if it's just a passing emotion.