Advice please (I'm sorry it's long, I just really need advice)

I am 20 years old and have a 7 month daughter me and her father split up when I was pregnant because he beat me and we stopped talking until I was 7 months him and his new girlfriend wrote me on face book saying I was a whore and I know who my child's father was so I blocked him. When I was close to giving birth he emailed me saying he wants to be part of my daughters life so I forgave him and said OK to this day he has not seen my daughter even though I have always welcomed him to my home to spend time with her. when we were together photos were exchanged and I now regret trusting him with those photos but he is now saying he is going to send the photos to everyone unless I give him my daughter and I don't know what to do I don't think its best he sees her because I am scared he won't give her back and I am afraid of him sending the photo because it could ruin me ever getting a job I don't know what to do HELP PLEASE
i have called the police 3 times and they said they can't do anything and he has every right to take her from me


Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't have "every right" to take your child away from you--he has every right to *try* to get custody. That means taking you to court and proving that the child would be 'better off' with him (which normally means proving that you are an unfit mother, and that he can provide a better environment for the child). However, going to court also gives you the right to demand child support from him (if you are granted custody), so he is trying to avoid the legal route. He probably also wants to avoid the large legal costs of a child custody battle...

    Threatening to distribute your photos is not blackmail in a legal sense, although it is what people call 'blackmail' informally. However, the threat to distribute those photos would not help him in a custody case, as most judges would disapprove of that type of coercion. So if you have proof of his attempt to 'blackmail' you, you may be able to use that against him in court...

    In the end you have to decide whether the embarrassment of having those photos distributed is worse than losing custody of your child. You cannot prevent him from distributing them if he chooses to do so, although it may just be a bluff to make you cave in. I think if you are strong you can keep custody of your child and even get child support from him. Of course, you should talk to a lawyer, not rely on legal advice from someone on the Internet. I hope everything works out...

    • The legal word for it would be 'extortion', I think: link

    • Actually, it may be blackmail. I'm not a lawyer--I was initially going by a Wikipedia definition that stated that blackmail was a threat to inform on someone for breaking a law unless payment is made. However, the article on extortion says that blackmail can be a threat to reveal something embarrassing. In contrast, extortion involves a threat of violence. It may vary by location, as they are very similar. Apparently the police do not consider this threat a violation of the law, however...

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Stop being a f***ing pushover. Do not give him your daughter and tell him he has to take you to court to get visitation. Let him do whatever he wants. He's making empty threats.

  • Bullsh*t on what the police are saying. Get a lawyer, document EVERYTHING (including his threats.)

    Time to get smart, girl


What Girls Said 2

  • I agree with Yadda-DON'T give her to him. It's pretty obvious you don't trust him and in all honesty,he doesn't sound like good Dad material.

    For your daughters sake PLEASE walk away and don't look back. Ignore him COMPLETELY,don't talk to him,text him,period. You've got a child to think about and she NEEDS someone to have her best interest.

    Good luck.

  • Call the police and take his ass to court. I'm pretty sure that's technically blackmail and you need to get sole custody. If it was me there's no way I'd let a man who does the things you said see my kid no matter what. Having pictures me on the internet would be worth keeping my baby safe.


Recommended myTakes