On and off relationship help?

me and my partner have been together up and down for 4 years now.we have been engaged for one year,but now he wants to break up again...and why?because rumors have been going around that he cheated on me,i was drunk at the time someone told me and I humiliated him in public,hitting and screaming,ok that was wrong..then when I tried to talk to him about it he just said that he can't do this anymore its over, and we only just got back together a few weeks before..now because we live together he is being very distant and does not talk to me at all says he's not ready just wants me gone etc... in the end we always get back together..but I just don't understand his behavior? is he doing this because he feels guilty


Most Helpful Guy

  • WARNING ! Sorry charli, but it is time to move on! These relationships never work out. It is a co-dependency relation which is the sick helping the sick. I have had two relationships like this both over two years long easily broke up 16 times. the making up with stipulations was the only good fun part but eventually those stipulations become resentments once again and the cycle returns. Of course you know each other and there is a certain type of love for each other but it isn't a healthy love. Its a " I will love yo if" kinda love. And when you are apart you miss the sickness and so strangely the bad memories and all the issues that you can't stand only disappear when you are alone!

    IT IS OVER and it was over the very first time you broke up. Nobody to blame here, you tried extra hard , harder than most to force this thing to work but it is over and you both need to heal from this.

    My suggestion is you do not date for a long while. You need to find yourself ! so does he but I'm talking to you,lol... This is going to be harder than most break ups because there was always that hope of what if He's different this time, MIRAGE girl don't mess with your mind that way...

    Consider this advice ok? you are going to brake up eventually again so nip it in the bud! NOW !

    Because sunshine you deserve better and you deserve to treat yourself better and love yourself and be OK being totally independent and alone and secure in a healthy environment. because as soon as you shut that door and get to this spot is ONLY when your path will cross to the open door waiting for you. Where happiness and a real man is waiting to give you his devotion and passionate heart ! Good luck Sweeties...

    • well thank you , see I knew you were a sweeties :), lol

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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like you get off on that kind of drama and you're attracting it in your life. it was wrong to scream and hit him through word of mouth, you should be more sneaky and find out on your own if he is instead of flying off on a handle.

    I bet this guy didn't even cheat on you and is like "if I'm going to do the time, might as well do the crime" so you're all like going bat s.hit crazy on you and might even contemplate cheating on you, way to go home girl .


What Girls Said 1

  • In my opinion, any "on and off relationship" should remain off... If the relationship is unstable and unhealthy, I don't see why it should continue.

    Talk to him about it calmly and see what his reasoning is. If he's not willing to work it out, there isn't really anything you can do except move on.


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