How do I get her to act in person like she does over text?

Alright, apologies in advance for the novel, but I really need some advice. Me and this girl met at work almost 5 months ago. I am a manager there and she is my employee, so I liked her, but I couldn't fraternize per company policy. She ended up writing me on Facebook, and we ended up talking a little bit and she told me she has a crush on me. We kept talking as just friends, and eventually we became really close. I really like her and wanted more with her, but she resisted and said she doesn't want a relationship, and wants to be with me, but due to work, and where she is in her life, she can't be with me. After a couple months of this, we began to fight all the time, she would get jealous if other girls even talked to me at work, and mad if I wouldn't text her back, etc. Finally we had a heart to heart, and she realized that she wants to be with me, and is now in the process of looking for another job so that can happen. During the whole 3 months we've been talking, she just acts completely different over text than she does in person. She always tells me how much she likes me, how bad she wants to be with me, and we even talk about sex and what she likes in the bedroom etc. When we are together though, she is just very to herself, very hands off, and it's almost just like hanging out with another friend. If it weren't for our history together I would have no clue she's even into me. Even hugs are awkward where she even gives me the ass out hug, or the side hug, and never offers one, I have to initiate it. I've gone in to kiss her once, and she didn't pull away, but her lips where really tight, and she just didn't seem interested. I have called her out on this several times and she claims she doesn't know she's doing it, but doesn't change the next time I see her either. During the heart to heart we had where she decided she wanted to be with me, I called her out on it again, and she said "I can't make all of the moves, I was waiting for you to get close to me, or kiss me", but the stupid thing is I've already done all of that and got really no reaction from her. I get that I'm the guy and I'm supposed to make the first moves, but she gives off no signs of wanting me to do anything, or even flirting in general. I reached over and grabbed her hand in the car today and she didn't pull away, but didn't grab mine back either. I don't know, this is just all new to me, and usually if a girl is interested she shows it, but this girl only does it over text, and then blames me when I call her out on it. I just feel like the only reason she might have finally given in to dating me is because she doesn't want anyone else to have me, and doesn't like that I can't be just her friend. I'm just extremely confused, and I've never experienced this before. Maybe I'm over thinking it, or maybe not, but that's where I need help. She's amazing, but I'm just not sure what to think. Thanks in advance.


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  • Actions are loluder than words...maybe she just had a boss-crush, and isn't really interested in you as a real person.

    Maybe she's one of the girls impressed with power and status (one of the majority), and when you are just two people together, without your status as the boss, suddenly she loses the crush. All th ehearto t heart is about yur no longer being the boss..

    Sorry to rain on your parade, but this is what you are describing.


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