Boyfriend still misses old crush?


So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years now and it's pretty serious. We live together, are together all the time, I have met his parents, he has met mine etc. and I love him to death.

There is only one thing. He met a girl on a holiday about three years ago and was completely in love with her and I I know he really missed her after the vacation. When we got together I thought he would forget about her, but it seems to not be the case. Or maybe I am just imagining things...

The reason I'm concerned is because he checks her Facebook pretty often, at LEAST once a week, usually more than that. He also has this list on Itunes that are songs about really missing someone who lives far away, wishing to touch at see that person again and being able to turn back time. The songs are pretty depressing.

He sometimes also acts extremely sad and I don't know why...

What are your HONEST thoughs?:) Am I just imagining things or should I be concerned?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He definitely misses someone, I would talk this over with him. If she lives far away, I seriously doubt she is a threat.

    He's most liking experiencing the one that got away syndrome and romantic ideals.

  • That seems like cause for concern to me. I'm not concerned about cheating so much as his attention and affections being divided. From your description, it seems like they didn't have a real relationship. If that's the case, he is pining after an ideal. Flesh and blood people can't compete with romantic ideals. She probably couldn't either as far as that goes.

    The unspoken question is what to do about it. If you do nothing, it's unlikely that the two of them will reconnect secretly. However, this fling may stay with him and cast a shadow over you. You could bring it up to him, making clear that his behavior worries you. But then it's not obvious what you expect him to do. How does someone give up a crush? It's not really subject to an act of will. You might be able to help him get over her. And perhaps you can learn what appeals to him that you lack and whether there is anything you can do to transfer that appeal to you.


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