Me and my partner have been together for a year and a half. We've been through a heck of a lot in that time and it's been very tense. I'll put it bluntly, he smokes weed and was addicted to cocaine. He didn't tell me he was spending 100 a day on the stupid drug and he'd been doing it behind my back for at least 3 months before I quizzed him about it and he folded (I'm a girl, not an idiot, I knew what he was up to) we live together or at least we did until we broke up 3 weeks ago because quite frankly if had enough with him and his lies and his attitude and he was starting to scare me. Don't get me wrong I wasn't some doe eyed sweetheart who didn't shout back at him or walk away from a fight but I'd rather take a time out from an argument instead of saying something hurtful or that I would regret. Anyway, I moved out three weeks ago and he has been begging and pleading to go back he says he's changed , which I've seen evidence of in regards to the house and all the little things he said he was going to do like stop smoking and sniffing and selling the pets getting a full time contract at work etc he bought me a car which I find inappropriate because we're not together but he's doing his best to win me back ( so it seems). The only thing is he says things like 'I've got rid of the turtles today' but then the next day they're still there and they're actually going in 3 days or whatever which makes me feel unsure. I miss him a lot but I don't know if that's because of how long we have been together and I'm used to it or because I miss our life as a couple but I know I miss him. I just feel a bit like a fool here and I don't know what to do or what to think, there is no way of even whimpering a word as to how I feel because I really don't know which makes it harder for me. I've just got an apprenticeship at the hospital that I've always wanted and will aid my university prospects if I decide that's what I want to do, my health isn't great and the stress of this doesn't help, I'm only 20 and I feel like this whole decision makes the rest of my life! He has two children which I adore and they adore me which also makes this hard because I love them to bits! In the end I'm either going to end up alone ( which doesn't scare me or bother me as it's not something I worry about I'm only young) or I'm going to get married and have kids eventually and it's just figuring out what to do as in do I just bite the bullet go back and settle down or do I not? Don't get me wrong like I said I miss him terribly I know he's trying I just don't know whether or not to take the risk. Thank you so much for reading all this mush I'd appreciate any advice! (Except YOLO) :L
Most Helpful Guy
You're talking about pets and about drugs.
On the one hand, I think the pets is a thing, but drugs is another, completely different one.
Lousy at it might appear, buy a drugs test without telling him, and wait a bit longer, and have him pass it.
Only if he passes the test, give him the benefit of the doubt, but he fails, he will have lied, and you'll be better alone.