We've been together for almost 3 years, she's still in college, I've finished mine.
This is the second time she has been cheating(*) on me.
The first time 2 years ago, I found out from a friend, and now, the second time, she told me about the cheating one day later.
By cheating, I mean ( from what she told me ) being in a relationship for a few days with a guy ( for the first time ) and ... spending a night at the club and kissing another guy ( for the second cheating ) [ she told me that nothing "bigger" than kissing happened, so let's assume that's true ]
The problem is that this guy is one of her college mates so 1) they will inevitably interact , and 2) I can't control her or I can't know that probably she will never meet him again etc
The bigger problem is that she told me that she has been talking with this guy for a while and started to like him and she even doesn't know if she still wants to be with me or wants to be with him...
1. Should I break up or forgive her ? ( I have mixed feeling about both of the options )
1a. If I forgive her : how can I get past her... repeated mistake ? Right at this moment, I don't know HOW will I be able to forget ( forget, not forgive ) her mistake. Whenever she will go to a club or anything else, my thoughts will go crazy and stuff...
2. Considering this guy already tried convincing her into being with him, even in the past ( we were already together ) and considering HE KNOWS about our relationship, should I talk to him or anything ? If yes, what ?
first of all : thank you for your answers
second : she didn't mention or blamed the use of alcohol / drugs or problems in our relationship in order to make her mistake look more "forgivable" so... that's a + for her I guess.
Most Helpful Girl
This is the second time she cheated. I doubt its going to end. Sounds like she isn't a monogamous person.
If you want to stay in the relationship, consider if you'd be willing to have an open relationship.
Is it really worth going through this habitually especially if you get married? You're pretty much setting the ground rules that if she cheats, you aren't going any where.
You should do what is BEST for YOU and what you WANT TO DO. If you aren't ready to break up now, give yourself the time and space that you need.
But please be honest with yourself. Being single isn't a bad thing.1