He just moved in-please help

My boyfriend and I've known each other for awhile, been dating 9months.. He just moved in, his day and Thanksgiving are coming up and I no longer want the relationship. Love him to death but we just don't seem to be compatible, we are just very different people. Things use to be great but he's started to get possesive-I talked to him about that about a month ago, and I notice

AND see he's trying to relax a bit but I think that it's just over in my brain. I haven't cheated but I haven't been the best girlfriend(staying out late with friends) lately I guess I'm more or less reveling ? because I was contained for

So long. Please help me I do care for him, and don't want to hurt his feelings(he really loves me and the holidays are coming) but I think I would be better off single and just dating around right now

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well...for me, when I love someone, I don't give up on them. That is what true love is all about.

    So, I wouldn't give up. Sometimes you go through a stage where you aren't feeling it...but maybe there are other reasons for that. I am sure you do things that upset him as well. You don't like him being controlling/possessive...but does he have reason? If I went out with the girls all the time, my man would come off a bit possessive too. It is human nature. He loves you & doesn't want to lose you. Maybe his past made him like that..or maybe you made him like that. Whatever the case, a relationship takes two. I read your profile...you haven't even broken up with him and yet it says single and fun & flirty. That is a red flag on your part. I am NOT trying to be mean in anyway. Please do not get offended. I am just trying to maybe point out a few things you can't see yourself? Sometimes we need that...I know that I need it from time to time. Saying all that, if you cannot understand him and still don't feel it with him...then I would wait until after holidays...to make it easier on him. But, if you cannot stand to be with him any longer...then, I would just tell him that you aren't where he is at in life. Because, I don't think you are... He seems like he is ready to settle down and have kids and be with you forever...you seem like you don't want kids and you wanna be a little free and enjoy your young life by going out and stuff. Nothing wrong with that. Just means he wants something you cannot give. You can both meet in the middle on this though. Anything can always be worked out. IT just depends if you both want it to work out.

    Anyway, please do not be mad or angry with me. I was just being honest. I do not judge you or meant any harm. I want you and everyone else in this world to be happy :]

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    • Not mad at all-actually a little back drop I have a daughter who is six, and was with her a her for 10yrs, been apart almost 3 now so I've very much been mature and grown for awhile-that being said I'm a great mother and rarely go out-I just have to fight about it if I want a beer after work(when my colds with her dad-) and frankly I don't think I should have to fight about it. It wasn't until these past two weeks where I have actually been kind of disrespectful and staying out later then

    • Oh okay :] I understand. Well, good luck. Break ups are never pretty. Just be happy you are the one doing the breaking :/

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What Guys Said 4

  • Honestly you can't do it without upsetting him a little... it's best just to be honest about everything, telling him you care for him but you don't find yourself compatible isn't the worst way to be broken up with.

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    • I just hate hurting anyone makes

      ME feel so foolish since he JUST moved in. Gosh, but I know my personality is just too different then his

  • There's no way to do it and not hurt him, just be straight forward and get it over with. People break up sh*t happens, sucks but it's part of life.

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  • there is rarely a way to break up a relationship without someone feeling hurt. but know that prolonging the inevitable will only make it worse when it does happen. Additionally you are going to be miserable the longer you wait. Just understand that relationships end and it's probably not the first time either of you have had the experience of dealing with a break up

    good luck... I think you should do it at the earliest time possible. It may be rough for a bit but ultimately you will feel better and for his sake he can move on

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  • Hello Double Whammy :)

    There is no way to end a relationship without feelings being hurt. Accept that. Now decide once and for all if you want to continue to try or move on. Once you have made that decision, stick with it. If you decide to move on, then tell him your feelings and that you want to move on. Be honest, frank, and polite, but stand firm. Don't be sweet talked into doing something that YOU don't want to do. Living with someone can be hard to do. Maybe next time get to know him better before making such a drastic decision. Your young, you learned a life lesson. More the wiser. :)

    I wish you strength in your endeavors!

    :)

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    • Thank you--after out talk month ago I tried to stick it out.. Since being a little distant the past two weeks I ha the courage to end it-then w bought me flowers my fav dinner etc.just is hard and confusing, he's a great wonderful guy, I just would like someone who likes to I don't know BBQ &have a beer and relax more then get so upset over the small stuff. Thanks for the advice

    • You made my day! I'm glad it helped! :)

What Girls Said 5

  • You will hurt him a little. You should end it now. Moving in with someone is often revealing. You know it can't work. Don't waste your time, don't waste his time. It will hurt no matter what you do. The hardest part will be about the flat. Don't kick him out like trash, don't let him stay for month...

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  • Yeah that's what normally happens when you THINK you know somebody. They could be totally different. Also wait more than nine months before making an extreme decision like that. There is no "nice" way to break it to him. The best thing to do is be honest. He wasn't who you thought he was.

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  • is always like that at the beggining youst take it calm, and don't think about it too much or the realtion might end up ruined but if you see that it really don't works well then you know what to do

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  • Tell him to move back out. Or you leave. Break up, its not that difficult.

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  • well I would just go and talk to him. I wouldn't be with him if I'm not feeling it anymore.

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