Is it normal to not feel upset right after a break up, but be torn up about it months later?

This past summer saw the end of my relationship with my first girlfriend, and at the time I wasn't extremely upset. She broke it off because she felt that we just weren't meshing anymore since I'd gone to college the previous year, and I was a bit sad, but mostly fine. Now, months later, I'm starting to get really depressed, I feel lonely all the time, I get cold chills through my chest. Is this a normal progression of feelings?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes unfortunately. At first I think we feel fine because it hasn't really sunk in and part of you thinks deep down it isn't over and that you will be back together. Then months later it dawns on you, you are never getting back together and you feel the loss of all the good times you had with that person. We always forget all the bad things in the relationship and we make up these fantasies about the relationship being really good. In the end all we all ever want is to be loved and that is why you miss it so much months later.

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What Girls Said 1

  • yes, becuase you may have blocked it all becuase it was too much for you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • At the time you had a major distraction with all that was in front of you to keep your mind on. After things slowed down is when the thinking settled in.

    It isn't depression. That is a far too overused of a word. Yes you feel lonely but as easy as it was to avoid feeling at the time is as easy it is to just move your mind on something more useful...

    Focus on yourself to prepare yourself for the next lucky lady.

    Step one: put down the sword there Zelda the dragon slayer. If you want a chic to stay that is.

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  • Yes, but you shouldn't obsess over it all the time and let go at a certain point

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