Ok so I cheated on boyfriend but is he kinda violent?

When he found out, he called me all the worst names in the book (understandable, I deserved that) but then he got in my face yelling and then punched the wall before leaving and slamming my door on the way out.

We're trying to work it out. I really regret what I but have to admit I was kind of scared at that moment. For a second, I thought he was gonna do something to do but he didn't (well besides the verbal tongue lashing that is).
Updates:
Told a closest female friend about this because I was kind of concerned but she also agreed it was a common reaction. I agree but I was quite shaken. Never saw him that way before and I know this isn't his regular self. Kinda scary what a guy can do when he's mad.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Understandable? You deserve it? Please leave the relationship before you come down with battered woman syndrome. What you did was wrong, yes we can both agree to that, but you do not deserve to be treated in such a hostile manner. Also, you should NEVER fear the actions of a loved one laying hands on you, if you do, leave immediately.

    Your relationship will never recover in any case. No one recovers from betrayal. You might turn your back on the feelings it fosters, but it's always going to be present in the relationship. It's like cancer. You could enter into a period of remission, it's going to shrink in size and maybe even be forgotten for a time, but it's going to come back more aggressive then ever before.

    It's all as simple as that... this isn't idealist talk... get out of the relationship while you're still you and not someone you don't want to be.

    Words of experience. Leave. Leave. Leave.

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    • Thank you. I'll be taking that into considering. I have never felt this shaken before. Sure I was expecting some words and something like ''You know what it's over'' but not this type of reaction. Maybe it's really over. I'm having a hard time recovering from this and I'm sure he won't recover from my betrayal either.

    • When we are actually in danger and someone looses control, if only for even a split second, we experience it. Especially if you know that personal as intimidatingly as I'll bet you know this guy.

      You know exactly what flashed through his mind.

      p.s. People are upset because you cheated and I'm not here reprimanding your actions. I laugh at my down votes.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Yes we are very capable of doing bad things.

    I don't think he will actually hit you. But he might bang one of your gfs in return is he's the "envious" type to try to "get back" at you.

    Maybe now you know moving forward that its not cool to cheat?..

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  • You got caught, your relationship with this guy is over.

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    • Yes, sadly our relationship is over.

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    • Protection was used for your information. You make it sound like I would have deserved to be brutalized.

    • I'm not saying you deserve what you got, I'm implying that you should be more careful next time you try to cuckhold (cheat) on some guy. Eventhou, you used condom even if your intentions were just to have a one night stand with the guy. You played on the trust he betowed on you and in his paternity rights (in the case that you would've gotten pregnant).

  • Just end it with him you are not faithful to him. People that put a lot of trust and love into someone to only have the person turn there back on the them it makes them act irrationally.

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  • Well if I were you I would leave him asap, for your own safety but at the same time you kinda brought this on yourself as well

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  • Just break up.

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  • Wow. Slut cheats on her boyfriend, then gets all "frightened" that he yelled at her and punched a wall. What garbage. Hopefully the guy finds a decent girl.

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  • Hopefully you broke up with him, right?

    Otherwise, why be a slut and cheat on him?

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  • To cheat on a guy is the worst thing you can do to him. It can push even a non-violent man to a violent reaction. I've no sympathy for a cheat.

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  • How did you expect him to act? Anyone can turn violent when the other person pushes them far enough. I don't think you really understand just how much you pushed him into acting this way. If you don't want to see him like that, then don't cheat. Accept responsibility and stop blaming the victim.

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    • I guess I was expecting for him to let me talk a bit. He didn't. But yes, I do take responsibility into what I did. I didn't mean to hurt him that way.

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    • I'm considering breaking up. I guess it's for the best for both of us.

    • Yes it would.

What Girls Said 5

  • He may or may not be abusive but it definitely sounds like he has some impulse control issues when it comes to anger (which usually results in abuse). It might be a fairly common reaction but it's still not a healthy one. In any case I really don't think you should try to work things out. The very fact that you cheated means there's something driving you away from the relationship and add on the potential for abuse and it's not a pretty picture.

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    • True, our relationship has been kind of rocky and not that I'm trying to make excuses but he would dedicate less time on me, we had the same arguments and I felt it was all about work with him. It hasn't been like before for a while. I'm going to break up sometime today.

    • Yeah if you're not fulfilled by the relationship then it's just not worth driving yourself crazy over it. Good luck!

  • I'm not going to get into this whole cheating thing because that's not what the question is about, whether you manage to save your relationship or not is up to you two. But I agree with guys, when you push them far enough, anyone can turn violent, and I don't think he was/is going to hit you. His reaction just showed how deeply you hurt him.

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  • I do think you need to leave because honestly he knows that you and him were never really together if you cheated on him. If you really were invested you would have never cheated. His actions are reasonable I am not saying calling you names was totally right but understandable. And for not harming you in any other way shows that he is an honorable man. All I know what I hear that you will never heal and you should never be together because you broke that relationship not him. And when you were doing it you knew that this would end your relationship and by still doing it you were not invested in your relationship. He by his actions is a better man that a girl with those same morals and devotions deserves. If you are not equal halves you can never be a whole. I would leave before you hurt him more. His actions are right. If anything he is the victim not you. I am not trying to be mean but honest. And I am pretty sure you wanted an honest answer and not a sugared up one.

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  • Just break up with him

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  • What did you expect? Sounds like a reasonable reaction to me.

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