Avoiding unwanted attention. Any advice?

I really need some advice, I have just started a part time job and that means I need to get the bus back in the evenings.

It was my first night yesterday and on the bus back and I am a naturally wary and worried person about the dangers of strangers and men with teenage girls so I always keep my head down at the front on my phone.

One stop, a man got on (clearly wasn't right in the head) and started stroking my leg higher and higher and asking me if he's making me feel uncomfortable, one other passenger even said he should move to which he replied no I am fine here. Obviously I was terrified and was looking around panicky seeing if I should move and he noticed and if he should move. I was shaking so much and said yes please so he got up and moved but was glaring at me the whole time. Then he got off the stop. And I was in tears.

This isn't the first time this has happened, and no I don't wear ANY revealing clothes or any makeup at all. So I have no idea why this is happening.

Any advice please on what I can do or how I can act to keep these sort of people away and not to sit by me or follow me or talk to me etc... Thank you so much.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Act confident. Glare at anyone who tries to intimidate you. Don't show fear. Carry around pepper spray. You should've said, in a loud and firm voice, "DON'T touch me! This is sexual harassment." And taken out your phone ready to dial 911. Don't tolerate this type of harassment. Don't look all mousey and gullible and naive. Look tough, confident, and slightly mean/bit**y. Master the b**ch glare or the WTF face. It clearly sends the message of "WTF do you think you're doing @$$hole?"

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I need to toughen up then and I will, again thanks for another bit of great advice I will get working on it :) Got a really good idea now of how I need to act x

    • Thanks for BA :). Everyone has worth and deserves to be treated with respect.

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What Guys Said 1

  • im going to be honest here. lots of guys tend to find vulnerable (i.e. scared/nervous/woman with problems) a turn on. my only advice is to stop looking like you are scared. act as if being on the bus late at night is no big deal. if he does it again just tell him you don't like it and he should stop.

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    • Pretty gross..

      Thanks for answering the question :) Really nice to get advice from a boy too!

    • No problem I hope you don't have any more problems :)

What Girls Said 2

  • Sexydncr is right. You need to look like a bitch look angry! Don't look scared or intimidated it'll just make you an easy target. I ride the bus to and back from work also and I hop on with a bitch look on my face. I get stares but no one sits by me! Also sit on the seat Close to the aisle not the window that way no one will sit next to you. F***N perv how dare he do something like that?

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    • I will start practicing them now haha! Ah, I normally sit by window to keep away but that makes so much more sense thankyou :) I know :/

    • Hahha +1

  • Where in the world do you live!? This is sexual harrasment, and you should NOT accept this behavior at all! I understand your phobia. You need to stand up for yourself, especially when other people is nearby! Couldn't you get up and move away from him?

    I feel so very deeply sorry for you, for experiencing something so uncomfortable :(

    Please don't let gross men abuse you like that, you're worth more than being treated like that!

    I can't believe it's not even the first time! I think you should talk with a professional about the incident(s). But your best bet is to in a polite and get-together manner tell the people to respect your space I believe. And consider making a scene if they don't stop the first or second time. Chances are if other people notice, you will either get help, or the molester will feel so embarrased he will move by himself.

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    • England haha.. just moved here from Spain so it's completely different..

      ok thank you so much for the advice it has really helped and given me confidence thank you :)x

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