Did he like me? And if so, what did I do wrong?

At the beginning of summer 2011, I met this guy. He was funny and spontaneous and completely comfortable in his skin... The total opposite of me. But he seemed to take an interest in me, whether it was in a friendly way or a romantic way, I guess I don't know anymore. I definitely had strong feelings for him, and it was obvious to ME that he liked me... But I suppose that doesn't mean anything.

He liked to sing to me and hug me at the most inappropriate times and he held my hand, too. I guess I thought at the time that meant he MUST like me.

About 3 months into our flirtationship, he stopped talking to me. He wouldn't look me in the eye, and he refused to speak to me. Only when he had to. We saw each other all the time, which was horrible, because I was crushed. Absolutely crushed. I had grown very attached to him in that short time, and it took me a long time to put myself back together.

There were, of course, other aspects to our relationship, but the bottom line is that I feel like I did something wrong. I have thought about this for so long, and I can't let it go. The pain of his rejection still hurts me today, and I just want more than anything to move on.

Around the same time he stopped talking to me, an attractive military student joined our group, and he seemed to take a casual interest in me. I my have flirted back, and I'm worried that that may have upset the guy that I ACTUALLY liked.

Either that, or I showed TOO MUCH interest in him and scared him away. Or he never liked me to begin with.

If it's true, someone please tell me I'm delusional. I'm just so sick of thinking about it, and being tormented by the whole situation. I just want it to go away. Based on what I have here, what do you think happened?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He certainly liked you at one time. Now, he's either lost interest or isn't sure that you like him. Seeing a girl that I like flirt with another guy in front of me is definitely a turn off. In fact, I almost always lose all interest. According to psychological research, people like those who like, or appear to like, them. Once you flirted with the other guy, he was no longer certain that you liked him or, even if you did, he probably thought that you liked the other guy better. Almost any guy would back off after seeing a girl that they like flirt with another in front them. And also, no—you can't really show another person too much interest, unless it's really excessive, maudlin, and lavish (and, sometimes, if it's really disproportionate).

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I screwed up, obviously. However, since it has been so long since this happened, would it be awkward if I initiated contact again? Or should I just leave the whole thing alone?

    • Yeah, contact him. If he really likes you (and it seems that he did), he'll probably give you another chance since it's been so long. I would. He might be a little guarded at first, so it could take a little while before he really starts showing interest back.

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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like he found someone else & didn't have the utter jerkness to keep flirting with you too. kind of sounds player like to me. if so, the most you're likely to get was sex, & possibly dropped on your butt after that.

    such is life =P

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think that if he is not man enough to talk to you about this, then you need to move on. Relationships don't require this much work, communication is the foundation of all relationships and without it you have nothing. His Loss

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  • Flirting in front of him was probably your mistake, I wosuggest to tell him how you are feeling about the situation or know for next time not to make the same mistake

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