At the beginning of summer 2011, I met this guy. He was funny and spontaneous and completely comfortable in his skin... The total opposite of me. But he seemed to take an interest in me, whether it was in a friendly way or a romantic way, I guess I don't know anymore. I definitely had strong feelings for him, and it was obvious to ME that he liked me... But I suppose that doesn't mean anything.
He liked to sing to me and hug me at the most inappropriate times and he held my hand, too. I guess I thought at the time that meant he MUST like me.
About 3 months into our flirtationship, he stopped talking to me. He wouldn't look me in the eye, and he refused to speak to me. Only when he had to. We saw each other all the time, which was horrible, because I was crushed. Absolutely crushed. I had grown very attached to him in that short time, and it took me a long time to put myself back together.
There were, of course, other aspects to our relationship, but the bottom line is that I feel like I did something wrong. I have thought about this for so long, and I can't let it go. The pain of his rejection still hurts me today, and I just want more than anything to move on.
Around the same time he stopped talking to me, an attractive military student joined our group, and he seemed to take a casual interest in me. I my have flirted back, and I'm worried that that may have upset the guy that I ACTUALLY liked.
Either that, or I showed TOO MUCH interest in him and scared him away. Or he never liked me to begin with.
If it's true, someone please tell me I'm delusional. I'm just so sick of thinking about it, and being tormented by the whole situation. I just want it to go away. Based on what I have here, what do you think happened?
Most Helpful Guy
He certainly liked you at one time. Now, he's either lost interest or isn't sure that you like him. Seeing a girl that I like flirt with another guy in front of me is definitely a turn off. In fact, I almost always lose all interest. According to psychological research, people like those who like, or appear to like, them. Once you flirted with the other guy, he was no longer certain that you liked him or, even if you did, he probably thought that you liked the other guy better. Almost any guy would back off after seeing a girl that they like flirt with another in front them. And also, no—you can't really show another person too much interest, unless it's really excessive, maudlin, and lavish (and, sometimes, if it's really disproportionate).1