After a break up do you feel you'll always be alone?

Clue to me: I have dated a lot of women (too many,lol) yet after a break up I feel like I won't find anybody as special as the last one.

For one I know I don't want to settle for less so I think she ruined me lol I told her that too.. but whatever this break hurts and am feeling down.

I am in no hurry to rush into an unhealthy hook ups/relationships. So I won't be looking for one and that scares me for a timeline of doubt.

I know I shouldn't doubt but it sure feels bleak today to just finally be with the ONE ! I'm ready for her !

So have you felt the same or have any urge to respond to this? lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I do feel the same way.

    My ex broke up with me about 2 years and half ago. He was my first boyfriend and first real relationship. He said a lot of mean things in the end and he told me that he has no feelings for me after a month of break up. 3 years of my life with him went down to the drain.

    I was messed up for a year and 8 months, but one day I snapped out of it. I started online dating and dated a lot of men. There are 2 guys who I dated longer but they are both emotionally unavailable/ in a bad place in life right now. They told me that he couldn't have a relationship right now.

    I feel like I'm going to die alone because I keep finding people that I date aren't interesting, and also not very attracted to them physically and emotionally.

    I want to be in a relationship very badly but It seem it's happening. It really makes me depressed from time to time.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I feel empty, which it's worse than being lonely IMO. The man I have fallen in love with disappeared on me after he initiated a break. I had this happen to me twice so I feel at times that no one will ever appreciate me and that I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

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  • I do have such upset feelings, think I won't find someone as good as my ex.

    But I tried to be optimistic and choose to believe there is always a better one waiting for me,after all there are at least 1billion out there that you can choose from;)

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  • same here... I think that I will be single for my whole life. since my ex is from an other country and he was so good now I'm sure no one will be as good as him.

    and it freaks me out.

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  • Wow, didn't know how normal you are. Glad to know it. Yes, we all feel that way.

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    • you haven't sensed any normalcy ? hmm OK then lol

    • That came out wrong. sorry.lol Its just you didn't give as many details. Reading your questions is adding another layer to you. That's all. :-)

    • Ahhh OK I see, note to self more layers ! lol :), by the way Hi

  • I kinda feel the same way, the last break-up I initiated but it wasn't my fault, and we had obstacles that kept it from being real - he is another country now. Anyway, I've had four guys over this last 2 months trying to talk to me, take me out, etc., yet I like none of them. I am not attracted to any of them and still feel he has some more in terms of smarts, looks, that these other guys don't seem like all that.

    I know it'd be smarter to start seeing one of these local guys, yet I do feel like if I did, I'd be settling for less.

    I think for now you simply need friends, even if they are females, no pressure. Don't rush into anything new. However, I'm sure you'll meet a lovely girl who will think the world of you as well!

    Feel free to ask any other questions :)

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    • Ok lets hang out ? lol Is that what you meant? lol didn't think so...

      I feel I'm in for a very long wait...

    • Show All
    • Only one of my bf's was 'my type'...in fact, the majority of them I disliked upon meeting, some for several months until I became enlightened to a whole new world of attraction. It's a beautiful feeling when you fall for someone so unusual to you. Go out with them.

    • KittyRocker ? you must give us details after THAT tease..lol

      go on you were sharing

  • Nope, but if I do that would be OK too :)

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  • Yes I felt that way before too

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  • Yeah I kind of got down about it when I left my boyfriend. I don't like being single. I really want to love someone. But then again, I'd rather be alone than be unhappy dating someone. Plus, if I stay in an unhappy relationship, it closes the door to meet other guys.

    And also I get to focus more on where I want to take my life.

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  • Sometimes. Last time I broke up yes. This time, I still feel more angry and upset than lonely and lost. But its only been a few days. And unlike the last few times where I was partially responsible for the break-up, this time, its 100% his fault. I did everything I could to save that relationship, gave it my absolute best shot and all I got in return was a broken heart.

    I think I'll find someone else. Maybe not this month or this year but maybe in a year or two. For now, I need to pick up the pieces. I feel more awful that I turned down this guy I do like mainly because he showed up within hours of my break-up. And I was a mess. And I don't ever want put anyone through that my exes have put me through. I hope he understands that.

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What Guys Said 6

  • No but I always feel emotionally drained and don't want to be with anyone for a while. I've litterly had girls swep in to try and pick up the peices the day I broke up before so I never think I'm out of options, it just gets tiring...

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  • Not exactly "alone" for say. But it puts a big dent on my self-esteem which causes me to exercise and learn from relationship mistakes.

    Which originally brought me over to GAG

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  • as long as iam living where iam my options are fairly bleak and iam getting older and I don't want to date younger girls like 18 years old too young, women don't know what they want at that age and are just ran by their hormones and horny as f***. iam looking for something meaningful, long lasting. if iam to become coupled I have to move to another area, big city preferably. I did get a bashful smile from a nice looking girl today, flirted a bit, iam usually always flirting or trying to. any way iam just rambling now. quite depressing where I live, have no friends at all, friends I do have are breaking away and or f;aky. I have hard enough time making friends let alone getting and maintaining a relationship with a woman.

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  • I guess it's inevitable to feel that you'll never find somebody better, or that It'll take forever to find someone new. I've felt it with my ex, yet, I think that what really happens is that, when we break up, we don't really miss the person, but we miss the feeling of being in love and have somebody special as a companion.

    So yeah, it's completely normal to feel hopeless and lonely. But the good thing is that time always proves us wrong, and it's just a matter of patience, waiting for the right person to come to our lives, and start fresh.

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  • I know how you feel, brotha. I went through that recently. I slowly lost her to another man who took her from me. She was my first true love; and the only person in the world to completely understand me. I was heartbroken; and thought I was forever alone because when it comes to girls, I always feel they don't like me.. But you know what? I learned if she was perfect for me, she would have stayed with me no matter the cause. I still have feelings for her, but I know I have to move on. Thinking about your girl will only linger your pain, brother.

    Be with friends or find a new hobby. I recently got into a PC game, Minecraft. The soothing piano music and projects you can craft with your friends eases the troubles away. I will get over her eventually. I just need some time and Minecraft to make it all go away. Maybe someday she will realize it was all a big mistake and come crawling back. I hope by then, I will find greater true love, and just say "Sorry, you messed up!"

    But you are doing the right thing in not rushing into a new relationship. Just know I feel forever alone a lot; but I'm only 21. There's time for love to come to my doorstep. There's time for you too! Whatever you feel, there will always be a lot of GAG members here who feel the same way; and we are always here to share our pain, brother :)

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    • Thank you brotha from anotha motha... good helpful advice sorry for your sitch as well

  • I've felt like that. Well, I feel like that.

    My girlfriend broke up with me about a year and a half ago. We're still best friends.

    Still, haven't gotten over her, don't feel like I will, and I've felt somewhat lost since.

    It's a bit less painful now that a good deal of time has passed though. I also sometimes actually feel attracted to other people now, sometimes.

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