What changes when you get married?

So, a guy I work with, just had his one year anniversary on Friday. But he and his wife had already lived together for 9 years.

He said before they married, she'd stay in bed and go back to sleep when he got up for work, but that now, she gets up and makes him coffee and breakfast while he is in the shower.

I don't understand why the morning routine would change.

What am I missing?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't really understand it, because I'm firmly against pre-marital sex. I can't imagine staying with my girlfriend/fiance even for a day before marriage, let alone 9 years (unless of course, we take an oath that we won't go beyond foreplay before marriage). Its nothing religious, but my ethics and conscience prevent me from indulging in pre-marital sex. I certainly feel that a living, breathing human body is not a car that I should test drive (that is, check for sexual compatibility) before buying (that is, getting married). If emotional compatibility is there, then sexual compatibility will automatically follow. I know that in this age, probably 99.99% of the world's population would disagree with my views, but I still believe they are valid.

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What Guys Said 12

  • That's interesting. It sounds like the fact that they're married has changed a lot, in her eyes. He has invested a lot more in her, and committed, so she feels a greater need to show him consideration and do kind things back.

    That, and I imagine living together has a lot different "feel" that being married.

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  • You're missing the value. When a person marries another person publicly generally speaking the reason there are changes is because this person decided that you're actually worth their time and energy. This isn't even surprising.

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  • Because she's his wife now and it's her way of showing him she cares and enjoys being his wife.

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    • So, she didn't care before he put a ring on it?

    • It's just that now that she's married, so she's caring for him as a wife instead of a girlfriend. Some times marriage makes caring for someone that much more special so they do more to show it.

  • Alot changes once two people get married. And even more after kids come into the picture. Its not all bad just depends on whether or not you want that lifestyle. I've been married 17 years and now divorced. I feel better being single. Married life wasnt for me, personally but it works well for others.

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  • Women have a legal right to screw you over and take your stuff. This is why I won't be getting married.

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    • I see women are angry at me for revealing the truth :) Actually, I'm fine getting married providing that there is no legal binding, but it's not the commitment of marriage that women want.

    • Find a state that doesn't have no-fault, or that allows for covenant marriage contracts that cannot be nullified through no-fault. Marriage isn't the problem. Greed, marrying for the wrong reasons, and a corrupt court system are to blame for that.

  • Maybe a higher level of commitment? A change after 9 years though... that seems strange.

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  • Women begin to lose their sex drive after marriage.Give it a few years,and the sex drive is almost dead.I think that's the biggest change.

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  • Commitment does stuff to brains. Could be a good thing.

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  • Your freedom.

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  • This is an example of how a woman's behavior can change for the better in the short term.

    Over the longer term she will lose her sex drive and/or her motivation to keep her man satisfied. That's a statistical fact.

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    • That goes both ways..

    • Hardly. This is a complaint that comes from about 95% of married men, and rarely from women.

  • Funny, nothing changed for us :D Except that we have sex now.

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  • Because she's a good wife.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I'm with you on this one. Don't see why random acts of kindness wouldn't have existed before their marriage?

    In fact it seems more common that those things exist before marriage and then dwindle out as time goes on. Hmm.

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  • That's so odd...

    Perhaps she reeeeeeeallly wanted to get married, and now that it finally happen she wants to show her gratitude, or appreciation, or whatever. She's just happy to be married and wants to do her best in her role as a "wife" now? That's so strange though.

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  • shes happy he made that commitment to be with her for life, she was probably bummed about being his girlfriend for years upon years thinking she was never good enough for him to marry

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    • then why wouldn't she just break-up/leave him?

    • because she loves him and/or was secretly hoping each year oh this will be the year he proposes, oh.. maybe next year each time in her mind, plus its scary to break out of a relationship that's going well besides the nonexistant proposal to start all over again when she might have felt she already found the one for her and these new dates won't be anywhere as good as her ex was

  • I don't understand why the routine would change either. If you already lived together nothing would change except the way taxes are done.

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    • Personal investment. If you're just using someone to get an orgasm, your focus is on yourself. If you care enough about them to be legally bound to them, that investment is more serious. You have more of a good reason to make it work.

    • What does that have to do with what I said? I didn't talk about sex. I don't know why anyone would live with someone just for sex. If you're already living together it sounds serious. Maybe that's just me. I lived with my boyfriend and we got married. Nothing changed except paperwork. Our daily routine and sex was the same.

  • According to GAGers, a lot of things change, haha!

    Check out our new list, 10 Things That Change After Marriage link

    I've never been married but what I hear the most is that your sex life changes and your priorities change.

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  • According to friends that have gotten married recently, it's like a higher level of commitment. Sure maybe physically nothing has changed, but there's a comforting mentality that you're officially a "team" now

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  • That's crazy. Usually the opposite happens in marriages. The random acts of kindness go on before you get married and then they wean off once you get married.

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