How do you go from flying solo and being independent to sharing a life with someone?

My boyfriend and I moved in together a few months ago and we've had our ups and downs. I was a big fan of moving out of my parents house pre-college because it meant I could watch cable all day and go through the drive through at 2 am for some iced coffee, but now that's a bit awkward to explain.

The roughest time has been with sharing friend time and boy time. Being done with classes today, my friends swarmed my place for some drinking and apples to apples. Mr. Man got home and he was not pleased.

I would like to know how others deal with the hiccups of moving in with each other and at what point do you draw the line?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Moving in with your significant other is a test in negotiation. I think the most successful couples that live together survive because they understand the concept of space and staying out of each others' way.

    The only thing I can tell you is you better get used to the hiccups, because that's what living together with someone you love is. Eventually, you'll find that rhythm and know that the other one expects and likes and doesn't like. Until you learn though, it's a test of patience with one another.

    Communicate and be understanding. Let your boyfriend know the things you want to do. And listen and be respectful of his wishes and desires too. Remember, you love each other. And love is sacrifice.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You just have to talk to him about this. Tell him that although you two are together, you are still separate people. You have separate friends and separate interests. He can't honestly expect you to no longer have fun. Unless this was some huge wild loud gathering while he was trying to sleep after work, I don't see a problem.

    Are you both splitting costs equally? Does he ever have friends over? Were your friends eating all the food and drinking all the liquor you two paid for? These questions make a difference also.

    My boyfriend and I are about to move in together too, but we've had a long talk about pet peeves, bad habits, company coming over, which costs will be split, how long the lease will be, pets, parents visiting, furniture splitting, if we ever break up (hopefully not lol), cleaning, shopping, and other things. Fortunately, I have no friends (or is that unfortunately? smh), so we won't have this issue in particular. He does have friends but he won't be having them over all the time. We discussed it and he knows I don't care as long as it's not every day or loud gatherings while I'm trying to sleep after work and as long as they aren't devouring all out resources (food!)

    I think just talking to him about his expectations and what part of that night actually got him upset will help out tremendously. He may have been upset about some aspect of the situation that you haven't even considered. It could be a quick.

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