Why am I out of the friend zone?

A little over a year ago the guy I was seeing left me for another girl. They'd been seeing each other for a few months before he ended things with me. Things ended amicably, I wasn't about to stand in the way if that's what he wanted. I actually like her as a person, ten years younger than we are, but in a lot of ways she's a younger hotter version of me.

A few months ago he got back in contact with me. Said how much he missed me, really wanted to be friends again etc. So we started meeting up. Hit it off like old times straight away. It's been great having his friendship again.

But the last couple times we've met up it's ended back at my place or his. We've always had really great sex, but the last two times he's been like, really into it. Like, to the point where I think he's into me a lot more than he's letting on when we talk.

Thing is, he's still seeing the girl he left me for. She has no idea. And while a part of me thinks, "well, I was there first" or "this is his decision to make", I'm more of the mind that I don't want to be the cause of them breaking up.

What I can't work out is why he's bringing me back into the picture again. Is it really for friendship, or was he always out for something more? I was happy in the friend zone, and now I'm worried that if I try to scale things back to 'just friends' he'll ignore me. What if things continue and he wants to get back together? What if he intends to see us both at the same time?

Any advice on how I should approach this one?

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What Guys Said 1

  • He almost certainly wants to keep seeing both of you..wow when he feels insecure in his new relationship, he comes to see you, and boy, do you ever reassure him!

    Im surprised that you'd allow aguy who left you for a younger girl to get '''consolation' for '''missing you.'!

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What Girls Said 1

  • if you are hanging out and having sex it will always be for the sex. if you want to know if he is really your friend don't have sex with him

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    • sooo... I should not discuss this with him at all?

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