Had sex with a coworker?

Me and this guy from work have been talking for a few weeks. We are both very flirty with each other, and it was clear that he liked me. Many of his friends and our other coworkers told me so. Well last Friday he came over my house, and we ended up having sex. The next night I went out with him and hung out, we had a really good time together. He would hold my hand while we were driving, call me baby, kiss me all the time, etc... Well the next day I found out that he had a girlfriend the whole time we were talking.i told him I was scared he was playing me and I didn't want to get hurt. and he swore to me on his mothers life that he didn't want to be with her and that he really liked me and didn't want to mess this up between us. When I confronted him about it he said that it was really complicated and that he didn't want to be with her anymore, his feelings for her were fading and that he just didn't know how to break up with her. A few hours later he told me he talked to her and had ended it with her. On Monday the girl ended up finding out we had sex, and went over his house to discuss everything...and they ended up getting back together. he hasn't texted or called me since, didn't even give me an explanation or apology...just all together stopped talking to me. yesterday I texted him and was like "are we cool" and he responded with "yeah were cool" I'm just nervous because tmr will be the first day I'm seeing him at work since this all happened. I don't know how to act, do I ignore him all together? just be friendly? and I don't know what to say to everyone at work when they ask why we're not talking anymore because literally EVERYONE at work knew we had a thing going on. I just don't get how he can say he liked me so so much and then just all of a sudden get back with her and not even give me an explanation. thoughts?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't respond to him outside of work, not on the phone not in person, don't ever invite him over or if he is infront your door ignore him. He is poison. He used you and played you. They never leave their girlfriend, and he is a liar he I can bet she never knew anything until she caught him cheating. I say when at work keep it professional, only speak aboout work to him when required. If he tries to talk about anything else, say " lets keep things professional from now on", ohhhhhh and trust me he will try to speak to you and lie about missing you and wanting you and realizing his mistakes, when she messes up in the relationship that's when he'll come after you. Just be glad you found this out now and now later down the road while being madly in love with him. Trust me I speak from experience. They never change, it's all talk no action and he is the perfect liar. Stay away from him as much as possible. I warn you and I am begging you don't let him ever be anything but someone at work. If you go fall for his BS then you can't say I didn't warn ya. Be careful. You deserve better.

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    • Thanks. I'm mad at myself that I texted him and asked if we were cool, I shouldn't have. but whatever.

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    • Your intuition trust it. People in this world are cold, and wear masks and lie. You gotta be smart. But I am sure this guy was an experience and life lesson, don't beat up yourself too much, just be careful next time. Your heart is too precious, emotional damage can last a lifetime

    • Thank you for BA :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he wants you instead of his gf.

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What Girls Said 6

  • This guy is not even worth it, he is a cheater for sure. When a guy want to get a girl he would say or promise the sky for her and after he got what the wanted, he would just leave her. he really have the best of two worlds now, very selfish of him. you need to get over him and move on, though initial stage isn't easy.

    also, see this as a lesson, don't get involved with a co worker as much as possible, I know sometimes it is hard to control one's feelings but office romance is very tricky

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  • I would use his actions to fuel you getting over him very quickly. He's a cheater, and he's lied and led both you and his girlfriend on in different ways. He's a crappy guy, much less a crappy boyfriend. As far as how things go at work, just play it like he's a casual friend. You don't need to ignore him since you must maintain a work relationship, but I wouldn't be acting like you're interested anymore either. Don't hold yourself to any standard of how you should act based on what he's going to think or what your coworkers will think. YOU did nothing wrong, HE did. Act the way you want to act, and remind yourself that the responsibility lies with him if things get weird.

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  • Someone did the same thing to me except he was married I ended everything, though I tried to understand and he explained how it's not working with his wife, sex is not good. He emailed me a month ago, telling me how he missed me and how he can forget me...

    Those kinds of men are lying. Are you sure he even talked to his girlfriend in the first place? Mine acted like a nice guy, a victim. But he was the bad one, fooling everyone around. He was playing me the entire time.

    You should act like it doesn't exist you, don't talk to him. Talk to your coworkers, act normal.

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  • You've been used. He wanted some play noogie. That's why you don't do more than kissing without finding out where the relationship is going

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  • unfortuntaely that is how guys are. Best thing to do is move on

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  • Lots of consequences

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