How can I be confident about starting this relationship?

So a while ago I was in a relationship with a girl who wasn't really stable, we alwas got into trouble, she liked to see other guys and kiss and do stuff without me knowing for a while (I think she never fucked), that made me feel very bad cause she was just using me, to make drama and that kind of stuff, I ended up being more like his father. Went to parties to pick her up cause she passed out and stuff, or having her family take her off her craziness (this is a long story made short btw).

So know I met this girl who is so different, she is like in perfect balance with everything, just as an example, she is nice and respects herself and other people but still is super crazy and knows how to party and has no problems en her family etc... The problem is with me, I think the last relationship messed me up lol (im a drama queen). All these sort of ideas come to me like, maybe she wouldn't like me if I'm not that hot, or if I don't have a lot of money or if I'm not very crazy, all that kind of stuff my ex demanded me to be. I don’t want to feel bad again in that way cause my ex hurted me by hating who I was and for tring to change that I loss friends, oportunities and other relationships that really whorth it. Its a fight inside me cause I think all of this but I know that at the end there will always be excuses I can make to stop from trying... SO THE REAL QUESTION! si

What do you suggest me? or what can help me be more confident about this? or what? I don't know I really want to stop making excuses cause this time I know, I will regret BIG TIME not trying to make this relationship work.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't let your past (and that messed girl) influence your present,or you'll have big regrets. Try to convince yourself that it'll be different,take things as slowly as you can,don't start this new relationship too soon. Before you give your heart to her this time try to be certain that she's not messed up to. I hear you,I've been there to: I ended up with my self confidence shaken,like you did;and it needed time to recover. I even felt that after that messed relationship I was messing up all the others on purpose,but then I recognised that I deserved to be happy and relationships do not have to be "dramatic" to be good. Healthy relationships can be aa lot more interesting than messed up,dramatic ones. (sorry for grammar mistakes,I'm nor mother tongue). GOOD LUCK!

  • Your ex didn't make you insecure you were already like that before you got together.She sounds insecure as well.Glad you two stopped seeing each other because you couldn't really love each other .Because you didn't love your selves. That being said your still not over your ex and well quite frankly you still don't love yourself. Honestly yeah I don't think your strong enough or truly love yourself to start dating anyone new.It doesn't matter how great a person seems its not always the case.When you know you really love yourself and feel strong and don't hesitate to pursue a relationship with someone you really like then you will be ready:)


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