Did I send the wrong message?

I like this guy.. We're just friends and he is cautious about getting in relationships after his last one ended badly. He's a bit on the shy and/or apathetic side when it comes to girls. But he makes an effort to stop me with hello and talk to me.

I did a stupid thing and thought I could force him into making a move. I said I'm planning to move somewhere else because "it's not working out for me here" and he seemed disappointed but ended up saying "wherever you go there'll be problems" when I said "something here (which is him but I'm not going to say that) is making me feel sick." Then I said "I need to go where I can make progress" and he said "in what way?" And I said "I want to meet someone." He didn't have much to say to that... Just that "just because you aren't with anyone now doesn't mean you won't be in the future." And he said "nobody can make the decision to stay here or go, but you." And it wasn't exactly the reaction I hoped for.. I expected a guy who asks others about me, flirts, stares, chokes up but talks to me anyway, would encourage me not to leave. The guy is famous around here for not wanting to get married and tells other girls he doesn't want a girlfriend but when I asked him he said he does want to get married.

Did it backfire in that saying I want to move away and meet someone isn't telling him I like him, but that I'm uninterested in him? My friend said "why would he say he likes you after you said you want to move to meet someone, you're basically saying there's no one here." I can't think clearly because of this crush.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't think of a bigger mistake, because I'm reading this completely different from you.

    "it's not working out for me here"

    This place is not working out for me

    "something here is making me feel sick"

    You just generally hate this place and its people.

    "I need to go where I can make progress"

    I need to find someplace else better than here.

    "I want to meet someone."

    The reason why I hate this place and want to move away is because I can't find any relationships here, so that's why I'm going. Including you by the way, because you're just a friend and part of the problem; I don't consider you and me as being remotely possible, so that's why I didn't even mention you at all in my factors.


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What Guys Said 4

  • He is disappointed that you are moving. He probably thinks you are not interested in him either. Sounds like the wrong message to me... doesn't mean you couldn't fix it.

  • Sorry dear.. but you sure did send a wrong message.. But you know what, unless we don't make mistakes, we don't learn..

  • Oh, the tangled web we weave...

    This is the problem with being manipulative and playing head games. It always bites in the end.

  • You definitely sent the wrong message. He now thinks you're not interested in him.


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