How can I get him to admit that he cheated?

Okay, so I've been in a pretty serious cohabiting relationship for just over 2 1/2 years now, and basically I am 100% sure that my boyfriend cheated on me, multiple times, and most likely will again. I found evidence on his Facebook while he was out at a frat party (I was using his laptop the other night, because it's nicer and I prefer it, and it was logged into his account still but he was apparently messaging some girl from his mobile Facebook app). They were very flirtatious messages, most of it coming from him. When I brought it up with him, he said it was his friend using his phone and doing that but it was only that one time (even the friend himself told me the same story, but that doesn't make it believable). Also, there were more messages from previous days that were also flirty or even straight up dirty, which he said must be someone else hacking his account. I even found a conversation with his ex that began last year, and was proof that he had been sleeping with her as recently as the beginning of this year just before she ended up pregnant. For me the biggest proof is that she even said in the messages that she was a bit worried that he might be the father of her baby. When I brought it up with him he denied it again and said it must be someone else hacking his account, which makes no sense based on her replies in the conversation. I want to know how someone can be so confident about a story that makes no sense and continue to deny something like that even though he knows that I know. Also is there any way I can get him to admit the truth?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't make anyone do anything without good reason, I mean he clearly doesn't worry about lying to get by. So it'd have to be something major, either you need to catch him in a lie and be able to make him crack, you need to talk to whoever he's cheated with, or you need to leave him or at least make an ultimatum to leave unless he tells you everything.

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What Guys Said 4

  • The thing about cheaters is they are very deceitful people. They lie with no regrets. You have seen the truth with your own eyes. His words to the contrary are irrelevant. Good luck getting him to admit to anything. My advice is to get out as soon as you can. These types of people will never give you closure. Leave, grieve and heal. Find someone that will appreciate you and is honest. Remember, his words are meaningless. Trust your self on this one.

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  • He isn't going to admit anything. You deserve an apology, but you aren't going to get one. You've got yourself a colossal a**hole and you are best just cutting your losses and go.

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  • I'm pretty sure what you are calling "confidence" is what the rest of us would call "fear". You're not going to get him to admit anything unless you contact his little Ex-gf and see what's up; once he's cornered he'll cave.

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  • I'm fascinated why you're more interested in getting him to confess than you are getting out of there and onwards to better things in your life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • give him a shock & dump his ass. he clearly realized that you know what he is doing but you stilll chose to stay. so he might feel that you won't leave him anyways

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  • If you are 100% certain, have evidence and have actually caught him why do you need him to admit to it?

    How does that make things any different? If he admits to it do you expect things will get better?

    There's no trust in your relationship. Even if he's not cheating there's a problem because you don't trust him.

    Are you really so naive to believe someone hacked into his account and had a conversation with some girl about possibly impregnating her? Do you REALLY think a hacker would do that of all things? Why would some random hacker (or even non random) go out of their way to do that?!

    What you're showing him since you've caught and accused so many times without dumping him that all he has to do is deny it and you believe anything regardless of how ridiculous and out there it is...

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